21 May 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

EASTERN HELIOTROPE – We sympathise with you and your eldest brother sincerely. In reference to your own case, you have given us a clue to the reason for some of the unpleasant scenes that occur. "I confess to a very hot temper," to which you give vent when annoying things are said. But a young girl, still a minor, has no business to "answer back," whatever may be said by one so much older and standing in such a position. We say this in all kindliness, and with the fullest  sympathy for you in so painful a position. Try the peace-making effect of that "soft answer" that "turneth away wrath," and set yourself to the difficult task of self-control, daily asking  for the needful strength. This "nagging" is often the result of a lack of tact in the person subjected to it.

EVELYN, NELLIE, CHOLMONDELEY, AND L.S.D. wish to restore discoloured pearls to their natural hue. Soak them in hot water in which bran has been boiled, with a little salts of tartar and alum, rubbing them gently between the fingers, when the heat will allow, rinse them in lukewarm water, and lay them to dry in a dark place on white paper. Renew the application till all discolouration is removed.

HOUSEKEEPER – With great care we think £3 to £3 10s per week should suffice for food, washing, and light. The clothing  for the father, mother, and two elder daughters would cost at least £15 per annum each.  For the two younger ones £15 the two. All clothes must be made at home, except the gentlemen's cloth suits. You do not mention either wages or rent, so we conclude you pay these from some other fund, as they are very important items. Repairs and renewal of furniture, china, and house linen are also omitted.

WILD ROSE – We consider that it is a lazy and very bad practice to appear at breakfast in a dressing-gown. If young girls come down in bedroom attire, the grandmammas and grandpapas might come down in their night-caps and slippers. The term genre is French, and denotes subjects of still life, sometimes, perhaps, including birds and animals. The Dutch excel in this style.

PET LAMB – From what you say we fancy you have a soprano voice of small compass, and you have not got any good low notes. If suffering from chronic hoarseness you should consult a doctor. We thank you for all your kind wishes.

F.M.  – What a funny little body "F.M." appears to be! She says, "I have written a book, and cannot tell what to do next. I do not know what a publisher is." They are not "sea-serpents" at all events, though apparently rather formidable to this little maiden who seems to be so much "at sea" on the question of launching her paper boat. She further assures us that "the people in my book are neither so ignorant nor so foolish as I am." But all the same we do not know how we may obtain the privilege of an introduction to them. Get some gentleman friend (clergyman or lawyer) to look through your manuscript and advise you. We did not for a moment disparage the feminine character of your epistle by "mistaking you for a boy."

ROSALIND – It is by no means advisable for a girl's health to go out every morning in the depth of winter, at half-past 6 a.m., to attend a class, fasting. Under such circumstances she is liable to catch any infection prevalent, and to suffer from the inclemency of the weather. If unable to obtain a regular breakfast she should have a cup of milk and a piece of bread and butter.

12 February 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

G.P.M. - As a general rule we should advise any young girl, tried and perplexed as you are, to consult her mother. In your especial case we do not recommend your informing her of any particular act of rudeness to you, but state your difficulties in general terms, and act towards your brothers and sister according to her counsel. Your writing is fairly good.

AN IRISH GIRL - 1. Probably you are in the habit of wetting your lips. It could not be the cod-liver oil, nor the other beverage that is to blame for their sore state. Use lip salve every night, and on going out on a cold day. 2. Your mother should be consulted in reference to the introduction you wish to make. If she approve, your course is clear; but you must confide all you know to her respecting your acquaintance before you act upon any permission you may obtain. Your writing is fairly good.

A LOVER OF PEACE wishes us to give her advice, but states her case in rather a mystifying way. "What remedy would you prescribe for a sister to take to prevent her brother teasing her?" We think it seems as if the brother should have the remedy prescribed to him, instead of the sister, but doubt whether the mischievous little tormentor would take it. We should recommend the sister to assume an appearance of perfect indifference to any annoyance intended

MOUSE - In a case such as you describe your parents would be your best advisers. We think that a little extra cordiality of manner is expected on a first meeting, after some years of absence; but rather more reserve had better be shown afterwards, and if reproached for it, playfully yet decidedly maintained, and excused in a kindly way, on account of being "now no longer in the schoolroom."

POMMES-DE-TERRE - We believe that the author respecting whom you inquire is still living; but we have no desire to "shed some light on his ancestors," to which proceeding we entertain *grave objections.

VALERIA - If not allowed to heat your room by means of any kind of stove, and you have no chimney nor fireplace, we recommend you supply yourself with a large tin, or stone-jar to be replenished from time to time with hot water.

ROBERT H.W. - What do you mean by sending us your amateur verses? Try THE BOY'S OWN PAPER.

FLORENCE GREAVES - British wine, as also cider and perry, all contain alcohol, and are certainly not allowed to teetotallers. There are now so many pleasant drinks which are free from spirit, such as Zoedone, Sparkling Hygeia, Ginger Ale, &c., that there need by no difficulty in providing for those who desire a little variety on festive occasions. Handwriting too spidery; study some good model which has some character to it.

M.H.C. - We think you have made a mistake in the name. Your writing is very legible and pretty. We hope the character you give yourself is not true, and that if it is, you will set about improving yourself at once.

MURIEL WINTLE - We do not see anything to prevent your contributing to a charitable object because the promoter is a gentleman.