23 April 1881 - 'The Weddings of the World' by A.H. Wall - 'A Wedding in China'

And here you are complaining about wanting the vote, western women. Look how good you have it compared to your poor Oriental sisters.

When a son is born he sleeps upon a bed; he is clothed with rich robes, and plays with pearls; everyone obeys his princely voice. When a girl is born she is cast upon the ground, is wrapped in a cloth, and plays with a tile." Thus wrote Pan-houi-pan of her own sex, in her own country, China, adding, "She can be neither vicious nor virtuous; she has only to prepare the food, make the wine, and abstain from troubling her parents."

Pain-houi-pan write with neither regret nor indignation of this strange contrast. In her opinion it was both proper and wise to mark by neglect and indifference the inferiority of a creature born without a soul, even in the helpless days of its infancy. In her still popular works she is continually reminding women that they have no purpose in creation beyond that of being useful and pleasing to the superior sex. The birth of such a being as a woman was a thing to be ashamed of – a sure sign of heaven's disfavour, in the estimation of Pan-houi-pain, and in that of all her countrymen and women.

A modern well-known traveller, M. Huc, describing his adventures in China, says on one occasion when leaving Lean-chan, his Chinese companion, speaking of women being Christians, exclaimed laughingly, "Isn't that nonsense!" And being told that it was not, and that, moreover, certain Chinese women were Christians, he asked, with an air of being completely puzzled, "What can women become Christians for?"

"What for?" was the reply; "to save their souls – like the men."

"But," responded the astonished Chinaman, "they have no souls. You can't make Christians of them!"

"We endeavoured," says the author in question, "to remove the worthy Chinaman's scruples – to give him a few sounder ideas on the subject of women's souls, but we are by no means sure that we succeeded. The very notion tickled his fancy so much that he laughed with all his might. 'Nevertheless,' said he, 'I will be sure to recollect what you have been telling me, and, when I get home again to my family, I will tell my wife that she has got a soul.' She will be not a little astonished, I think.'"

But, despite his laughter, it is not improbable that in his secret heart he regarded this new view of Christianity with no little dread. It seemed to him, doubtless, a veritable serpent in the garden, so that when he got home he may have prayed heartily to his grotesque little wooden god that a knowledge of equality and consequent discontent and rebellion, might never beget evil within the doors of his own little domestic paradise. For the women of China, brought up in a slavish spirit of obedience and servile humility, are generally meek and gentle, patient, timid, and long suffering, deriving from ignorance a degree of content which, as a rule, is not altogether unproductive of happiness. John Chinaman would not have his women either wise or independent. They see no evil in being without a soul; they have no rights, and they want no rights. He is content with women because they are content to regard the ministering to his luxurious comforts and enjoyments as their highest, grandest, and sole privilege. For that only are they born, bred and educated. And, again, as a rule, the good-humoured, cheerful, chatty Chinese women, devoting themselves with all their might to parents, husbands, and sons, with a generous abnegation of self which is – dare I say? – worthy of a better and nobler cause – is admirable. Even amongst the poorest you see them decent in their apparel, modest in their behaviour, assiduous in the pursuit of their heavy monotonous labours, on the water or in the garden, field, farm, or at the loom, and seldom without a pleasant word and smile. Sometimes they are fortunate enough to win gratitude, sometimes happy enough to create love, but, as a rule, I fear the predominant idea they awaken in their masters' minds is merely that cold emotionless one that when they have done their utmost in serving or pleasing, they have but done that duty for which no thanks are fairly due.

The Chinese girl who has poor parents leads the degraded life of a slave; no out-door labour is too long or too hard for her, no treatment too bad, no punishment too severe. If her parents are lowly but not so poor, she is regarded as the household drudge, whom no kind of work can injure or degrade. In either case she stagnates in ignorance, unable either to read or write; but, strange to say, she does not grow either dull, brutal or apathetic. A kind word moves her to tears, and to win her heartfelt gratitude is a very easy task. The daughter of wealth fares a little better. She is not so active, and, therefore, not perhaps so happy, but her domestic work is light, and she can read and write a little, and she has amusements. She is taught music and singing. She goes to the theatre, receives occasional visitors, and now and [t is taken to the temple in a sedan chair, or a kind of wheelbarrow with curtains. But she keeps to her own chamber, has her meals apart from her father and brother, devotes considerable time to her toilet and the growth and preservation of her long claw-like nails, and yawning and sighing over her almost purposeless indolent life, is frequently glad to stupefy herself with the opium pipe.

At length there comes a time when the girl may be married, a time for which she has been longing with all her heart. Amongst those whom the law of China compel to marry, and with one of their own rank, her charms are duly but indirectly magnified, and they all know that she will be the bride of the highest bidder. Her nose is beautifully short, her lips delightfully thick, no lashes disfigure her charming black eyes. The length of her finger-nails is surprising! If these fail to attract and no bidder appears, the disconsolate father says that she was a mistake, regrets that she was not drowned directly after her birth, as thousands of other female infants are every year, and mournfully contemplates the cost of her living.

If a good offer comes, and no more bidders are likely to appear, immediate preparations are made  for the wedding. At last the girl will be somebody; she is delighted to find herself for once an object of general interest; it is a grand discovery when she finds that even a girl can make all the people about her glad and merry! Her spirits rise, life assumes a brighter aspect, she dreams day-dreams, sees herself honoured and respected as a house mother, her dignity asserted even by the law, which has hitherto recognised her rather as an object for punishment than protection. She will soon no longer be a mere useless piece of furniture or a domestic drudge; or, as a Chinese author says, she should be "a shadow and an echo in the house." She knows well enough that for a time she will but live her old life over again; that marriage will not give her a right to call anything her own; that she will stand in silence to serve at table and feed on the leavings of the men; and that outside her own inner room or rooms no living soul will  acknowledge her authority. But she knows also that she will be the proud mother of boys, that she will have children to love her and to be cared for.

On the day of her wedding the house is early astir. There is the greatest zeal displayed for her adornment; her looks are anxiously watched, and the perfection of her toilet is an object of overwhelming importance. Her splendid silken robes flash, gleam and glitter with jewels and gold; her long plaits of raven hair are adorned with flowers and precious stones. She totters on her poor cribbled feet into a kind of cage, a brilliant palanquin, where she sits in state like a queen on her throne, and is carefully inspected. Most carefully, for only consider! What a dreadful thing it will be if when the bridegroom first sees her he should express disappointment; say that those who described her deceived him, and wind up by declaring that rather than have her he will sacrifice all the dowery money he has paid, and submit to the usual fine in a like amount. When the procession is ready to escort her, the lattice work of her cage is closed and locked, and the bearers raise and carry her in triumph to the home of her purchaser. Musicians playing fifes, drums, and hautboys, precede her; torch-bearers and flambeau bears surround her! Her family march in solemn state behind; and everything comprising her portion, clothes, furniture &c., follows, each article displayed by one person, male or female.

Shut up alone she hears the music and the joyous shouts and the trampling feet; sees the red light of the torches and flambeaux, falling flickeringly upon her gold and jewellery; thinks of her new home amongst strangers whom she has never seen; dreads the little sound to come, that of the unknown bridegroom's key in the lock of her gilded cage; wonders what he will be like, in what words will he first address her; trembles with intense anxiety.

Meanwhile, the bridegroom, in another fever of anxiety, stands in holiday attire within his outer door. The feast is spread, the guests have arrived, he only waits his bride. What will she be like? How will he be pleased? Will the blind bargain really prove a good one? At last he hears the approaching music and shouting; at last the procession halts before his house; her gay and gilded bridal cage – the palanquin – is before him. The trusty domestic who bears its key gives it to him with a lowly obeisance, and then, amidst sudden and profound silence, he turns it in the lock. The gilded lattice-work swings open; he looks for a moment upon the girl he has purchased – does not suddenly shut the door and turn away, as she tremblingly fears he may, but gravely assists her to alight, while the merry music bursts forth afresh, and the shouting is louder than ever.

Entering the house, the ceremony which unites them, as firmly as the most ceremonious one can, is thus performed.  For the first time she sits down to eat and drink with a strange man – perhaps she does not even know his name – and having previously prostrated themselves before their parents and saluted the Tiers, or idol, in the hall four times, they feed together, drink each from the other's cup, and they are then man and wife, united as completely as Chinese law can unite them.

The bride is then given into the hands of her new female relatives, who entertain her and her family  for the rest of the day at a feast in their own section of the dwellings, while the bridegroom and his friends make merry in another.

One month after there is another ceremonious meeting of the two families, when the bride's family come to see her  for the first time, and this is followed by a third, when the bride revisits her old home.

12 February 1881 - 'Dinners in Society' by S.F.A. Caulfield

Perpetual solicitations on the part of the correspondents of this magazine to be further instructed in the  usages of "polite society" must plead my excuse  for the revival of a subject so trite and uninteresting to those no longer "girls."

Without further introduction, I will suppose that you are engaged to dine out, to meet a considerable assemblage of friends. Commence your preparations in good time, and let your dressing be completed a few minutes before the carriage is announced. To keep your elders waiting is most disrespectful; they have to choose between leaving you behind, or keeping your hosts and others waiting - spoiling their dinner, and perhaps of giving the horses cold also.

On being announced by one of the men-servants at the door of the vestibule or anti-room, you will find that your hostess awaits you, close at hand, within. Look at no one else, supposing that she had moved further into the drawing-room to lead some guest to a seat. Make a very slight curtsey as you give her your hand, a little act of politeness always observed in the upper ranks of society on formal occasions, and which needs to be practised, as it should be naturally and gracefully done. If not directed to a place, select one as little conspicuous as possible; not on a sofa, nor a large arm chair, unless desired to do so.

In ordinary society the ten minutes preceding the announcement of dinner are found to hang somewhat heavily on hand. Hungry, chilly, and possibly shy, or else naturally dull and uninteresting, people often appear to have nothing to say. I am, however, only writing for girls, who are not the proper leaders of general conversation. But they may speak to a next young neighbour without an introduction. After dinner you may assist your hostess in entertaining fellow-guests, though careful not to put yourself forward ostentatiously, so as to attract notice. Nothing could be in worse taste than to appear as if "doing the honours" (as people call it) of another person's house; instead of merely acting as a helper to her. Offer your small services, and follow her directions. I have seen young girls running about all over the room in a most forward and unseemly manner, taking the entire direction of the entertainment without the excuse of being daughters of the house.

But much may be gracefully and effectually done in a gentle, quiet way. Collect your thoughts before any kind of reunion, and be prepared with any little subjects of interest to form topics of pleasant conversation. Neither receive visitors at home, nor accept the hospitality of others, without making it a point of duty to return their kindness by making yourself agreeable. Do not sit silently scanning the dress of your neighbours, and saying nothing; nor answer in mere monosyllables, nor start when some one addresses you, as if you had just wakened up out of a nap. This is apt to occur in the case of young people who have few opportunities of mixing in society. Keep your hands still; do not move uneasily in your chair when first addressed, nor fiddle with the buttons of your gloves. Buttoned once they do not require to be touched again. Apart from any other objections to tricks like these, your awkward shyness presents a painful spectacle.

The dinner is now announced, and as the lady of the house has already signified to each of the gentlemen to whom he should offer his escort, and introduced to each other the pairs hitherto unacquainted, they all proceed to the dining-room according to the order of their respective precedence. With this matter - if ever a hostel yourself - you will have to make yourself thoroughly acquainted. Where there is no rank of birth nor professional position, age will always be your guide, which should never be overlooked.

I may here observe that "the girls" seem strangely solicitous about "which arm" a gentleman should present to the lady whom he conducts to the dining-room. Why they should feel so distracted about it I am at a loss to divine. One rule is enough for you - whichever arm your cavalier presents, accept it. Circumstances must guide him. Englishmen generally give the right, and foreigners the left. Where large entertainments are given the stairs are broad, as in our old country seats and stately town mansions. But in the humble dwellings of poor gentlemen and professionals, the narrow stairs have often an awkward turning at a sharp angle, leaving scarcely a ledge whereon to place the foot. Let the young man having a lady under his charge take due note of the stairs, and act accordingly.

You are now seated at table. Immediately after "grace" has been said, unfold your dinner-napkin, lay it across your lap, and remove both your gloves. Put the latter in your pocket, because if they fell from your lap under the table, your companion would have to dive under it to recover them on your rising to leave the room.

If you take soup do not crumble nor break your bread into it, except in the privacy of home, where a small dinner might be thus supplemented. Fried toast will be served with it if suitable. Take the soup from the side of the spoon - do not turn round the point to your mouth; make no noise in drawing in the liquid, nor in the act of swallowing it. If this offer you any difficulty practise the art at home. Lastly, do not hold up the plate on one side, nor make a scraping with the spoon; you can finish the soup easily without raising the plate.

Fish will next be handed round. Be careful in removing the bones with your fish-knife and fork, because a choking fit at dinner would not be an agreeable diversion to your neighbours; and to remove anything objectionable from your mouth at any time, whether of bone or gristle, is by no means a pretty exhibition. So put nothing in that is to come out, however cleverly and privately contrived. At small dinners given by persons of limited means, who may have no silver fish knives, you must only take your fork in your right hand and a small wedge-like crust of bread in the left, with which to assist the fork. Again, I must impress on you the impropriety of making a noise when eating, showing what is in your mouth by keeping your lips apart; and drinking before you have swallowed what you have been eating, or without wiping your mouth both before and afterwards.

Various courses follow that of the fish. Should curry chance to be one of the dishes, use both fork and spoon, but not your knife; and if helped to a tart containing stone fruit, remove the stones neatly from the plums with your fork. It is quite unnecessary to perform that operation in your mouth.

Possibly, at a private dinner, a hostess may press a guest to try some viand which she does not like. Of course the obligations on a hostess are even more strict than those on a guest, simply because the latter is dependent on her wishes; and so long as she remains under her roof, her comfort and feelings, in every way, should be consulted. Thus, to press her to eat or drink after she has declined, is an act of ill-breeding. At the same time it would be gross rudeness to show a distaste for any dish laid before you, or to persist in refusing it, were it pressed upon you. Self-denial is a Christian grace. Amongst half-civilised nations it is a mark of distinction conferred on any guest for a chief to roll up some morsel of food in his hands, and insert the greasy pellet with his own unassisted fingers into the mouth of the visitor. To decline it - because by no means an appetising morsel - would be a reflection on the good taste of the host, and an evidence of ingratitude for the distinction intended. Moreover, your rejection of the bonne bouche might cost you your head, or purchase the novelty of a javelin through your heart!

Apropos of controlling your fancies at table or elsewhere, rather than cast a reflection on one who wishes to please you, I will mention a little incident told me long ago by one to whom I owe much of my own early training in the usages of society. Now a very aged and venerable man, his parents had lived much about the Court of the old King George III, having been honoured with his personal intimacy He himself had lived and visited amongst the grandees of the Court of the Prince, as Regent and King, and was regarded as a man of most accomplished manners. Thus, I have no hesitation in giving my young readers advice derived from such competent authority.

The Prince Regent was styled "the first gentleman in England," for, like our own Prince of Wales, few had so keen an intuitive perception of the principles that govern all rules of good breeding. On one occasion he had indulged in taking snuff, and turning to a lady beside him, he presented his open box and invited her to take a pinch likewise. Alas! The good woman was not equal to the occasion; she was not in the habit of taking snuff - perhaps she disliked it; in fact, she had not learnt her less in good manners. So she thanked him and declined. Of course he felt as if charged with an indiscretion; but, always self-possessed and dignified, he simply turned to another lady and made her the same offer. This time he had met with a woman who was not out of her place in a palace. She thanked him graciously for so distinguishing her, and took the snuff, just sufficient of course to smell, but not to produce a sneeze. Her act justified that of the Prince, who was only testing her good manners, and he showed his recognition of her conduct by presenting her with the beautiful jewelled box, as a memento of the occasion.

Again I must conduct you back to the dining-room. Observe how highly-bred people eat asparagus. They feel with the knife where the soft part ends, and dividing the stems, they eat with the fork. It is a disgusting spectacle to see people draw out a mangled end from their mouths reduced to a ragged fringe. Never eat peas with a spoon. You may change the fork into your right hand and use it as one, or you may press the peas with it - still in the right hand - making them adhere conveniently together. Excepting at a private dinner, where little variety if any is provided, never ask for a second help from the same dish.

Take care to keep your hands off the table. Never fiddle with the salt, nor the spoon, knife and fork, and make no crumbs with your bread. Avoid coughing, and the use of your handkerchief; having a cold you should remain at home. If disposed to sneeze, from pepper or mustard, contrive to hold your nose with your handkerchief for a moment, to stop it in time, but do so unobserved if possible. After the game, cheese is carried round, and its usual accompaniments of butter and biscuits, &c. If you take butter, do not scrape off a piece against the rim of your plate, turning the face of the knife downwards, as if you were cleaning a putty-knife on the edge of a piece of glass. Contrive to loosen the butter, so as to place it fairly in the plate at one side. Should you also take cheese, butter a small piece of bread or biscuit, place a piece of cheese upon it, and convey it to your mouth in this way. To do so with the blade of a knife is highly objectionable, and contrary to all rules that obtain in the upper ranks of society, though many, otherwise well-bred people, may be seen careless in this respect in private, and elderly people also allow themselves much license in trifling matters, which they do not mean to form an example to younger people. Such little infringements of the orthodox rules should not be criticised by young people. Advancing life sometimes brings lassitude and indifference about them; and, moreover, what would evidence much selfishness and greediness in youth, is only to be regarded as the consent of an infirm person with a poor appetite, to be suitably nursed and provided for.

Dessert is now served, and the finger-glasses and d'oyleys are removed from all the plates by their respective owners. Fruit often presents difficulties to the consumers; what with the stones, skins, shells, or rind; it is not always easy to eat in a delicate and refined manner. Half-bred people may be seen inserting pieces of orange into their mouths and drawing out the peel again, showing the remains of the pulp on their plates. Pomegranates present some difficulty amongst other fruits. They are full of juice, and equally so of stones, too large to be swallowed wholesale. Cut one in two, and with the spoon press the stones within, as in a cup, extracting and taking up the juice with it.

Having taken what fruit they require, each lad dips her fingers in the finger-glass, and touches her lips also with the water, dries them, and puts on her gloves. She then lays the napkin on the seat of her chair. The lady of the house watches to attract the notice of the chief guest, seated at her husband's right hand, and smiles and bows to her, and they rise simultaneously, followed by all. The host opens the door, the chief lady walks out first, the rest according to their respective precedence, and the gentlemen stand until all have retired to the drawing-room.

In conclusion, I have a word of advice to offer on the subject of dinners at home, or after a homely fashion. Observe what dishes are being used, and those on which there appears to be a kind of "run," and never ask for that of which there is little, to the deprivation of any one yet unhelped. When there is a tart or pie uncut, there being sufficient of some other dish, show some little consideration for your hostess. The expenses and difficulties of housekeeping in families of small means are great. Keep your eyes about you. Remember the invalids, or those advanced in years Some small delicacy at the table may perhaps have been prepared for them. Try also to supplement the efforts of your hostess. However hospitable, and ready to give you anything you would like, she would appreciate a thoughtfulness on your part, that would leave something nice for one who is always last helped, or would spare an unbroken dish  for the following day, without making the reason too apparent. Would you wish her to replace a sort of wreckage of all in her small larder in return for her kindness to you?

21 February 1880 - 'Hindu Women'

In no part of the world, says Dr Williams Knighton, are nobler specimens of female humanity to be found than in India. The history of the country abounds with instances of the noblest devotion, unswerving fidelity, high principle, and sublime self-renunciation on the part of its women. Nor can anyone have been long resident in India without witnessing such. I have lived in Ceylon, in Bengal and in Oudh, and I have seen something of many districts and provinces lying between these distant regions, and everywhere I have witnessed the noblest instances of devotion and self-denial on the part of the women.

And yet the lot of the Hindu woman is unspeakably sad. She is married at so early an age that choice on her part is impossible. She accepts her destiny. She looks up to her husband as a sort of deity - she has been so taught from her earliest years - and a very debased, earthly, selfish and altogether contemptible sort of deity he too often proves himself to be. But for her there is no hope, however vile and contemptible he may prove. In life and death she is his. And if death takes him and she is left to widowhood, sad indeed is her lot. She may not immolate herself on the funeral pyre of her husband, a stern English Government forbids that, and she is doomed in consequence to gloom and sadness, and if childless to, to one meal a day, one garment, a total deprivation of all ornament, a d all that in her eyes makes life worth living. Her existence is bound up in his, and her affections are called forth powerfully, first for her husband and secondly for her children. And for the childless widow a far more miserable life remains.

The principal duties of the Hindu woman of the middle class at home are grinding the corn with a little hand-mill, similar to that so often referred to in the Bible, washing the floor where they cook and eat, drawing water, scouring the metal vessels, the cooking utensils, the jugs and plates; of course many of the more wealthy are exempt from these duties, but the vast majority perform them. The kitchen must be washed every day; when I say the kitchen, I mean that part of the house in which cooking and eating are carried on, for a large part of the religion of the Hindus consists in cooking and eating in a proper and religious manner. The shadow of a low-caste man falling o food of a high-caste Brahmin, whilst that food is in preparation, will be sufficient to defile it, and the whole will be thrown out in consequence.

The well at which water is drawn is a frequent resort for gossip. It is usually early in the morning and in the afternoon, from four to six, that water is drawn. Friends meet there, and interesting little details of household management and village life are exchanged. Some of the women will carry as many as three water-pots on their heads, one over the other, and sometimes one or two on the head and one under the arm. Women of different castes must not touch each other's vessels. This is a matter of great importance. Deadly feuds may be the result of thoughtless imprudence in this respect. Families of the higher classes who are wealthy often engage men or women of the fisherman's caste to carry water for them. But the young women usually like the duty, if the well be not too distant, and, in towns, the wells are usually in the gardens or yards of their own houses, rendering any journeys to a distance  for the purpose unnecessary.

Few people in the world are more religious than the women of India, but theirs is a zeal for religion without knowledge. They perform their service to the gods and goddesses of their faith unremittingly, particularly to the goddesses, and fail not to bathe in the sacred Ganges, or any other accessible river, on days of festivals, at the changes of the moon, and such like. From this service they expect good in this life rather than happiness in another. They are full of superstitious terrors; in fact they are amongst the most timid and fearful people on the face of the earth. The evils against which they contend by their religious services are their own, or their husband's or their children's illness. Being full of affection and concern for their children, they will go to any inconvenience or expense possible for their welfare. If sickness visits them it is attributed to some angry god or goddess, who must be propitiated by religious offerings, by prayers, by devotion, or human mortification. They will use medicines, but too often, alas! the physicians whom they are able to consult are little able to help them, and not unfrequently but experimentalise in their endeavours to do good. If the sickness be long continued or dangerous, they will promise a young kid as an offering to some goddess in expiation, hoping thereby that the sick loved one may be restored to health. Should the child recover they believe their prayers have been heard, and the vow is performed. Priests often work upon their credulity, and the credulous women will believe any story they may tell them. In this matter they will often act in opposition to their husband's wishes, although in other respects attentive and dutiful.

A Hindu wife never mentions the name of her husband. It would be esteemed an indelicacy or an insult if she were to do so. If he have a son then he is spoken of as that son's father. Gopal's father, the wife will say, ordered it, not my husband ordered it - our man, or some equivalent expression, if he have no sons is the nearest approach to indicating him distinctively. Nor does the husband mention his wife's name - he will call to her O, mother of Gopal, or if there be no child, O housewife, but never by her name.

Although distinctly regarded as an inferior by the husband, with whom she does not even take her meals, always waiting till he has finished, yet the treatment she experiences is not usually bad. There are of course tyrants and cruel husbands in all countries, but so far as my experience went in India, I do not believe that the average treatment of women by their husbands in that country is worse than that in England, rather better I think amongst the lower orders; but in the upper ranks of life the husband has a power and an authority which are quite unknown in Europe, and which of course will often be abused by unfeeling and tyrannical men, particularly amongst the uneducated, and it is unfortunately too often the case that, in remote districts especially, even the wealthy are uneducated. I have heard it remarked that those who have had the advantages of European culture amongst the upper classes make better husbands and better sons than others.

The chief education of a girl in India has for centuries consisted in learning how to dress the dishes most prized, to do rough needlework, to behave seemly in company, and sometimes a little singing and instrumental music. Mental nurture and training is the great want. Reading and writing have been for centuries denied to her, and considered unnecessary. Young men have been laughed at over and over again, both in Calcutta and in the Upper Provinces, for having had the boldness to teach their wives to read and write. And this they have been obliged to do stealthily - not openly in the light of the day, but in a clandestine manner, after dinner at night. Nor is it uncommon still to hear such exclamations as these: "What nonsense! for a woman to read and write! What's the use of it? A foolish proceeding! Something new and mad and senseless!" and such like. But a better day is dawning for women in India.

7 February 1880 - 'Peculiarities of the Chinese'

It feels like a while since we've had some good old Victorian racism, so here it is. 
 
We have received the following from a resident of Nankin, China -

"I am sure you will need no proof that the Chinese are peculiar people, as this is universally known and acknowledged, but as many of those things in which they are peculiar are not generally known, I venture to mention some of their customs in social and commercial life, and contrast them with our own. As their religions are far more ignorant, superstitious and sinful than eccentric, I shall not speak much about them now.

The Chinese begin to read their books where we end ours; they read down the page, we read across the page; they read from right to left, we from left to right. They direct their letters, writing first the province, then the city, then street or house, and last of all the name; we direct first the name, then house, street, town, and last of all, the country, In the language the Chinese have characters many and sounds few; in England we have letters few and sounds many. They believe the heart is the seat of the intellect, that it thinks, perceives, understands, etc., and that the brain is nothing of importance.

The needle of the compass necessarily points to the north, but they take the other end of the compass, and call it pointing to the south. In England we would say north-east and south-west; but the Chinese say east-north and west-south. We speak of a person's name as Mr Taylor; they say Tai Sien-sing, which represents Taylor Mr. We say James Taylor; they say Tai Ya-koh, which is equivalent to Taylor James. We write with a pen, they write with a brush; we hold ours slanting, they use their perpendicular; when we have finished writing we wipe our pen before laying it aside, they dip theirs in the ink.

The Chinese seat of honour is on the left side, ours is on the right. In England we sit down in boats to row, they stand; we pull, they push we sit with our backs towards the place we are going, they face the way.

They are not permitted to grow a moustache until they are thirty years of age, nor a beard until they are forty; we of course cultivate ours as soon as we can get them. The majority of women have their feet cramped when they are children, the length of the small feet varied from three inches to six. Children's heads, both boys' and girls', are entirely shaved  for the first time when they are about a month old, this is the occasion of great grief to the little one, and there is, as a rule, a "general row in the house". This shaving is continued until they are about eight to twelve years of age, when the hair is permitted to grow.

Chinese mandarins, scholars, and gentlemen allow their nails to grow, frequently to a length of two or three inches, they prize them and love to sport them as much as any young man at home does his first ring; their reason for thus allowing their nails to grow is that they wish to be thought gentlemen who never do any manual labour, nor carry any bags, etc. How much more gentlemanly would it be if they were to help some old man to push his barrow up a hill sometimes!

The Chinese naturally are far from being an enterprising nation. "As their fathers did, so do they". They think none wiser than their fathers, so they seek no improvements. But foreign influence is beginning to tell, even in this respect, to make the people a little speculative. To call a man "old" is a compliment to a Chinaman, but at home it would in nine times out of ten be deemed an insult. The Chinese claps their own hands and bow; we grasp the hand of a friend and shake. They administer medicine in large quantities, supposing that the more the patient drinks the better he will be. Occasionally, persons are killed in this way. Some cases have come under the notice of our missionaries, such as where the patient has had dropsy, or where the body has been filled with water, and his faithful wife has been diligently engaged in pouring down his throat as much liquid medicine as possible, until the poor man's death was not only hastened but was caused by the bursting open of his flesh to discharge the water of his overfilled body. The people are  for the most part kind to animals and never like to kill them, not even for food; if they die, all very well, they might cut up the flesh and eat it, but never take its life away.

Some, however, think that to kill very old beasts may be permissible, but not when they are young and able to work; but the Mahomedan Chinese eat beef, mutton, etc, and kill good beasts, so through them we stand some chance of getting meat occasionally. Beggars abound, but they are treated kindly, and I must say this of the Chinese, that I have never seen a beggar turned away receiving nothing.

White is the common colour worn at funerals, and red at weddings. During a time of mourning for a relative, we wear black on the hat, they wear white on their boots and in their cue.

When the father of a mandarin dies, the son has to mourn him for three years, during which time he must do no official work, not wear any stylish dress, nor enjoy any worldly pleasure. Married women have no Christian name. Suppose one be Mrs Wang, that be her entire name. They are unfortunately treated everywhere very shabbily. A wife does not walk here side by side with her husband, but she must walk behind, go in last, sit in the lowest place, nor speak, etc. Oh! How thankful we should be  for the light of the Gospel, and how grateful women in England ought to be, and not cry out about their "rights". In England, in making the marriage arrangements, one generally wants a nice wife with some money but here, of all things most inconvenient, one has to pay for his wife. My teacher tells me that a good wife can be procured at Nankin for about 500 to 700 dollars, equal to £100 and  £140. It seems to be similar to poor Jacob, who had to give Laban seven years' labour for each of his wives, because he had no wealth of his own with which to purchase them.

In wedding ceremonies the light of a lamp or candle, although in broad daylight, is considered able to keep away all evil spirits. One of the female assistants (we should say bridesmaids) at the wedding partially fills two cups with a mixture of wine and honey. She then pours their contents back and forth several times from one to the other, when both the bridegroom and bride sip out of each cup. After being married, the bride's veil is taken from her, and it is often the first time that the bridegroom has seen the face of his wife. At the wedding dinner he eats as much as he likes, but she must not touch a morsel. In the evening the newly-made wife has to stand while a company of spectators observes her appearance and criticises her deportment. The first night they have two candles burning in their room - one is marked with a dragon to represent the man, the other with a phoenix  for the wife. If one or both of these candles should be blown out by any means, they would regard it as an omen indicating the early death of one or both of the parties. If the tallow ran down the candles it would be thought to resemble tears flowing down the cheeks - that they would have sorrow, or that they would not live happily together. If the candles should burn out about the same time, it is supposed the couple will die about the same time in the future, and should one burn much longer than the other it is inferred one will survive the other.

The Chinese are particularly superstitious. They regard the owl as the harbinger of death; it is spoken of as a devil under the guise of a bird, or as a constable from the dark land.