9 July 1881 - 'The Duties of Servants' by Sophia F.A. Caulfield, Part Two

While the world lasts there will be the rich and the poor, the rulers and the ruled, the employer and the employed; each class enjoying its own rights, privileges, and responsibilities. Those employing your labour, be assured, are fellow-workers, even if not for hire, and have to bear the cares and anxieties which belong to their position, many of which are far heavier than your own, and with which you have little or no acquaintance. Do not wish to exchange your lot for theirs. You can elevate your position and gain the respect of your employers as well as your fellows by your propriety of conduct, manners and dress. Common, cheap finery is as little becoming as it is unsuitable, and those who wear it are not those who obtain first-class situations and become elevated to confidential positions amongst their employers. The common-looking, vulgar style of wearing what a low class of servant-girls in lodging-houses call a "flag" at the back of the head stamps them at once as belonging to the lowest grade of untrained and cheap servants. A real cap is pretty and becoming, and is suitable to those whose work must make their hair dusty, and the exposure to draughts disarrange it. That most respectable and high-class race of servants who used to live from twenty to fifty years, or for life, in the same family – dying in the home of their adoption, beloved and respected; or else were pensioned on the death of their employers, to enjoy independence in a home of their own – these were not people who wore a strap of crochet work on the back of a dusty head. They had no desire to look "shabby genteel" either. They wore good, plain dresses and pretty white caps. And so in the gentry, the maid servants are dressed as in olden times, following in the steps of those who rose to positions of competence and future independence. The lady's-maid alone is exempt from wearing a cap, simply because she is always about her mistress, and her work does not exposure her to any chance of looking dusty and disarranged. But as she advances in life she also adopts a cap, as the hair becomes grey and possibly thin.

It is said that "there is honour amongst thieves." If not influenced by better and more sacred motives, at least you might be ashamed to degrade yourself to a lower standard than theirs. Yet, rightly or wrongly, young servant girls are accused of being very dishonourable, in being much given to what is called "tittle-tattle," as well as charged with trying hopelessly to look like what they are not. It should be regarded as a point of honour amongst you never to repeat outside the house, nor even in the servants' hall nor kitchen, what you were trusted to hear at your master's table or in your mistress's apartments. Never stop to listen to their conversation (which you might misunderstand if you did), but give your whole attention to your own business. With reference to the respect due to them, to the duty of "not answering again," of abstaining from purloining, and "showing all fidelity," I refer you to the words of Divine inspiration, which have given no "Uncertain sound" in their directions both to masters and servants. Having known of several instances within the circle of my own family and connections of those who have lived from five-and-twenty to upwards of fifty years in the same family, deservedly beloved and respected, I know how to appreciate the faithful and high-principled amongst them, and am ready to believe in the extensive existence of such, in the class to which you, my readers, belong. Strive early to emulate such bright examples, and ever remember that amongst the most humble in birth and circumstances there is such a thing as "Nature's nobility" – the highest sentiments of honour and feelings of propriety, combined with the greatest humility and modesty of demeanour, and of that good sense which makes a man or woman know and live according to their natural position in life; and are placed in that position of trust and trial only as a temporary training for a state of far higher existence.

"Be thou faithful in a few things, and I will make thee ruler over many things."

To the mistresses of families I would now make two or three suggestions. The inefficiency of domestic servants, the rare examples of grateful and loving service rendered, the silly vanity which induces ignorant young girls to ape a position they can never attain and thus even throw a doubt on their moral character – all these points form subjects of perpetual fault-finding, sour your temper and prejudice you against the whole class.

Doubtless you cannot "make bricks without straw," and you have much cause for dissatisfaction. A servant professes to know all the duties and method of performing, for which she expects all the wages you may be induced to give, with all the comforts of a home, and you discover that she possesses but a very superficial idea of any of them. She wastes your provisions perhaps by bad cookery or forgetfulness of them; articles destroyed by neglect of repair, and every description of disaster and annoyance. We all suffer in a greater or less degree, paying honest wages for dishonest services. Alas! "That which is crooked cannot be made straight, and that which is wanting cannot be numbered."

But if we feel so keenly our own wrongs we should apply ourselves all the more zealously to redress them; and if we judge the shortcomings and misdoings of our maid-servants, let us take care that our own conduct be absolutely above reproach.

If, as a general rule, the young domestic servants of the present day are inferior as regards both their efficiency and manners, as well as devoted fidelity to their predecessors, the fault is not always and entirely to be laid to their charge. Those whether employ them very frequently show themselves utterly ignorant of their own duties towards them, and the great responsibility which lies on their own shoulders. Apart from all higher motives, the old saying, "Noblesse oblige" seems little to influence their deportment towards them. There is a petty and most vulgar meanness in the ostentatious way in which ladies of no real position in society themselves will order about their attendants as if they were only automatons, and not persons under their benevolent care and wise judicious training. The more or less uneducated need as careful and considerate training as children.

Every household should remember that by a Divine decree it is the mistress who is to "guide the house," and the duties which this sacred charge involves are to be gravely accepted and prayerfully carried out. It is not to be supposed that she has only to give her servants certain orders, and to scold or dismiss them if they be not fulfilled. In a very extended sense, she has the souls and bodies, health, training, and the present and eternal well-being of those under her authority placed in her charge; or, to say the least, within her influence – an influence for good or evil for which she will assuredly have one day to render an account.

The service which she buys with gold may be rendered for love. How often has this been realised when reverses have changed the order of the household, and the faithful servant has selected to share the scant necessaries of life with the beloved and revered heads of the family; not grudging the least extra service that seems to outweigh the gold in the balance set against it, but, thenceforth, as the tried and tested and deservedly trusted friend, clinging with affection and respect to her unfortunate master and mistress?

But money alone will not purchase fidelity like this. "If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned." Of course there are the naturally high-principled, as well as the God-fearing, amongst little-educated people, as well as amongst those who have had the benefit of the best intellectual culture. Faithful service, even in little matters – out of sight, perhaps, and unappreciated – will sometimes be found here, even when mistress – who pays her servant, and gives her a home – is not to be classed among "the good and gentle." But "as a man sows so shall he reap" is a rule of very general application. If kindness and consideration, supplementing honest payment of service, do not always meet a just reward at the hands of our servants, so we have no right to expect a cordial, hearty, cheerful service for a cold return in money only.

To claim unquestioning obedience – a respectful address and answers – a suitable style of dress – a strict conformity to the hours and rules of the house – and of the performance of the work, in conformity with your own directions – are all requirements perfectly within the limits of your rightful authority. But be careful to give each servant, before her entrance into your family, the complete list of the rules by which she is to be guided; so that if she should demur at any of them, she may do so at once. In the same way, make her acquainted with the amount of rest and recreation you can allow her; and after her ready agreement to your proposals, then let her find that – strict as you may be on certain points – you are no niggard in kindly consideration for her, and that her pleasures are given with an ungrudging hand. Above all things, remember that if you lose your temper in speaking to her, you lower yourself in her estimation. Speak firmly, and gravely, if need be; but do not forget yourself for a moment, or lower your dignity by saying anything in haste that you would not like to hear repeated in the servants' hall as a specimen of an ill-governed temper. Such outbreaks, however justly you may have been offended, may make your servants fear, but never respect you.

In reference to the recreations to which I alluded, a few suggestions should be given. Going out after dark is by no means include amongst them, unless it to be to take turn with other servants in going to church or chapel. Let no Sundays pass without sending each servant to a place of worship once in the day. They need out-of-door air, as well as their mistress. Send them for their weekly outing while the sun shines, or at least that the daylight lasts, to see their families and friends, or do their shopping. Do not grudge a cup of tea "once in a way," to the relative or friend who may come to see them when the chief work of the day is over.

Supply them always with some nice book – such as a volume of magazines (for instance, our own paper, the Sunday at Home, or the Leisure Hour), for, apart from the kindliness of the act, it is your duty to educate their minds; and in so doing you are also training them to be more efficient servants.

Some little time should always be allowed – if not every day, at least once in the week – for their own needlework, the necessary mending and making of their clothing and caps. It is equally for your own satisfaction that they should be accorded some time for this, as otherwise their appearance will be unsuitable to your house; and sitting up late at night – as many are obliged to do – is most undesirable on every account.

Remember that while all familiarity should be avoided, there is a quiet dignified politeness of manner and mode of address that invariably calls forth a politeness of response. Do not allow your self-respect and self-assertion to border upon an ostentatious demeanour. You will never elevate your position in their eyes by so doing. The lady-like politeness of your own manner will invariably be reflected to some extent in that of the servant whom you address.

21 May 1881 - 'The Duties of Servants' by Sophia F.A. Caulfield

The question of the respective duties of all classes of domestic servants to their employers, and no less so those of the latter to their paid dependents, is one which often supplies a subject of painful disagreement between the two parties concerned. Unhappily for each, they are too much disposed to regard each other as opponents, actuated by conflicting interests. On the contrary, the well-being and peace of the household forms an important object of interest to each. They have it equally in their own power, respectively, to promote, or mar their mutual comfort and happiness, and to confer more substantial benefit on each other in their own especial departments of duty than money could either purchase or reward. All antagonistic feeling should be extinguished on both sides, and this can be effected without in the least degree interfering with the order of society and of those distinctions of position which exist by the ordinance of God. It is to be recognised throughout all nature, from the humble "hyssop on the wall, to the cedar of Libanus;" "one star differing from another star in glory;" one faithful servant being "ruler over ten cities," and another "over five" only. "The head cannot boast itself," we are told, "against the hand' or the foot; nor can they be envious of the head. For all the members there is a fit and seemly place, and an honourable work to do; and of every arrangement of divine appointment we may be perfectly sure that all is well and wisely ordained.

In giving a general summary of the duties devolving on those employed in every department of female domestic service, I propose to offer a few suggestions both to them, and to those appointed to be heads of households.

The HOUSEKEEPER has the entire direction of all the female servants, with the exception of the lady's maid and the head nurse; receiving the orders of her mistress and acting as her deputy. Excepting where a house steward is kept, it devolves on her to keep the weekly accounts, to enter on her ledger the expenditure of each day; to pay all bills and file receipts; superintend the weighing of meat, to correct the tickets sent with it, and to examine every article sent to the house  for the table or otherwise. Should there be a man cook he will relieve her of many of her duties, including that of marketing, one with which she would otherwise be charged. In the case of a female cook being kept, the housekeeper should be prepared to supplement her work as may be found necessary, and to make, as well as to superintend the making of all dishes of a delicate or *recherché kind, and likewise the arrangement of the bill of fare for every meal. The taking in of the fruits in their due season for preserving, and all the direction and assistance requisite  for the making of pickles, jams, and confectionery; the preparation of syrups and the bottling of them, and other juices and liquors are also amongst her duties; as also salting of meat, changing of the brine, the curing and smoking of hams, the storing of salted butter and of eggs, the preserving of potted meats, preparation of stock for soup, and in fact, everything connected with the kitchen, larder, store-room, still-room, and dairy; as well as the superintendence of the poultry, and all live stock designed  for the table, outside the house, all this comes under her jurisdiction. But her duties must be regulated with each particular family, by the establishment kept, and the character of the house, whether a country seat where most of the necessaries of her several departments of trust are home supplied, or a town mansion where the domestic arrangements are of a different character.

The linen closet and laundry demand her close attention, and she has to give out from the former what is either for use or repair to the under-servants, and to see that the requisite mending be accomplished. The body linen she separates from the rest, and commits to the hands of the lady's maid or head nurse, as the case may be. In the evening she directs the breaking of lump-sugar, washing and stoning of raisins, blanching of almonds, and general preparation of all that will be required for use on the following day.

The inventory, which she should receive on entering her situation, should be carefully compared with everything committed to her charge at stated intervals of six or twelve months, including all the household furniture and kitchen requisites, and a report of wear and tear or deficiencies supplied to her mistress, and entered on the list, if not made good. Her own accounts should likewise be submitted for inspection at least once a month. But all such rules must depend on the wishes of the mistress herself. The wages of a housekeeper vary from £20 to £50 per annum. The "finding" or providing with beer, tea, and sugar, over and above the ordinary food of an indispensible character, is subject to no "hard and fast" rule. It varies, according to private arrangement, as regards every class of domestic servant.

The COOK, where no housekeeper is kept, has a considerable amount of work on her hands besides the cooking of meals, such as the marketing, continual supervision of the  larder, the salting of the meat, the making of the preserves, and the baking of cakes and perhaps of bread. She must make the study of cookery her continual business, by reading as well as by practice. She must know when meat of all kinds, and different sorts of game, poultry, and fish are in season. She must study the gardener's calendars to ascertain when certain vegetables and fruits come in, and when to make pickles and jams. The cooking of the dinners and what may be requires for all the other meals, of course devolve on her, and the scullery-maid is under her direction, to whom she should make it a point of conscience to teach, to the best of her ability, the art of cookery. In small households she is required to give some assistance in household work, such as to take the front hall, dining room, hall door, and the steps and pavement in front of a town house under her care; not to speak of the kitchen and all the basement. But where a kitchen-maid is kept, the basement floor, area, pavement and pot and pan, and all floor cleaning, and the bringing in of coal and water, naturally devolve on her, instead of on the cook. But private arrangements may be made by mutual agreement, either increasing or decreasing the legitimate work which a mistress has a right to demand of her cook. Her wages vary from £16 to about £30 per annum.

It will be remembered by the reader that a cook's duties – while she cannot refuse to fulfil those which I have named – may, as I have stated, be multiplied by private arrangement; and must be so, as a matter of course and right, when she undertakes a situation where no housekeeper, nor kitchen-maid is kept. Thus she will have to study the list of that functionary's duties, to be thoroughly acquainted with her own. On this account I have introduced her out of place in the order of precedence amongst servants, in which she ranks after both the lady's maid and the head nurse.

The LADY'S MAID holds a position next to the housekeeper. Her duties commence before her mistress rises; and if tea be taken in bed, it is her duty to bring in the small tray containing it, and the toast or bread and butter she also should prepare. She then places all the underlinen, slippers, and dressing-gown ready for use, takes out the dress and cap to be worn, and remains to assist, or retires for a time, according to her mistress's wishes, until she be summoned  for the hair-dressing, and to complete her mistress's toilet. Every such maid should be proficient in the art of dressing hair, and should learn every new style as it comes in. She should also know how to make cleansing washes, and rosemary and other decoctions requisite  for the hair, so as to provide them at home; also such necessaries of the toilet as camphor-cake and lip-salve, pomatum, &c. After her lady has left the bed-room, it is her business to fold the night and dressing-gowns, and place all in order before the entrance of the housemaids throwing open the bed and the window, taking out such articles as may need repair or alteration, those requiring fresh lace and frills, and the linen that should be aired. Gloves and boots should likewise be inspected, that buttons may be supplied and small rips sewn up as required. The jewel-case and all private drawers should be locked before leaving the room.

Not only reparations and alterations of dresses come within the limits of her duties, but she should know how to cut out, fit, and make them. She should understand the art of blending colours, so as to become a light or a dark complexion; and her mistress, whether tall or short, stout or slight, fair, sallow, or a brunette, should be to her an object of study; as it is her duty to make her appear at all times to the best advantage. In many houses where a lady's maid is kept, there is no private laundry maid, and thus it is one of her duties to understand the cleaning of lace, "getting up" of fine things, clear starching and gauffering. Also how to preserve furs from moth.

A lady's maid should likewise understand millinery, how to make a bonnet, cap or hat, and should study all the new fashions in their style as they appear in the best shops. She will have to keep an account of all t she expends in reference to her needlework, as she may be entrusted with a certain sum to meet current expenses. It is her duty to count all the body linen on its return from the laundry, to divide all requiring buttons and strings or other repairs from the rest, and to place each set in a separate spot, drawer, or work-basket, after all have been well aired. An inventory should be kept and notice given to her lady when the wardrobe needs to be replenished with new articles. Having inquired at what hour she proposes to go out, it is her duty to be again in attendance at the appointed time, having to place all that is needful, whether for driving, riding, or walking, in readiness for her; and on her return her lady should find the suitable change of dress prepared for her, and the maid awaiting her arrival to attend upon her. A knowledge of folding and packing closely, so as to save space, without injury to clothing, is another of her essential duties, and one in which must deficiency is generally observable amongst them. At a suitable time before dinner the maid should again adjourn to the bed or dressing-room, and lay out all she may require for her evening costume, and be prepared to dress her. On her leaving the room she extinguishes the candles or lets down the gas, and places a screen on the fire. At bed-time all required for night should be put out in readiness, and she should be in attendance until dismissed. In case of going out to dinner, or any kind of evening entertainments, her mistress has a right to expect her to sit up till her return, and see that she has all that she may require, such as tea or sandwiches, hot water, &c. Should the mistress be an invalid or an elderly person, the maid would be required to act more or less as a nurse, and would have to read aloud, which she should study to do agreeably, and to write letters at dictation, on which account her writing and spelling should be thoroughly good. But under these circumstances many of the duties required of her by a younger mistress, and one in good health and going into society would not be required of her, so that her work would not be excessive. In small families some of the duties of a housekeeper are united with those of the lady's maid. Her wages vary, according to her efficiency in all her duties, from £18 to £30 per annum.

An UPPER NURSE should have a thorough acquaintance with all the ailments to which infants and children are commonly liable. She should therefore have some reliable book on the subject of nursing the sick, and children in particular, always by her, and keep her memory perpetually refreshed on all points, so as to recognise the first symptoms of every complaint, and to be prepared for all emergencies. She should also study all questions relative to attendance upon her mistress, so as to nurse her, and supplement the services of the regular nurse temporarily hired. Her place is in the nursery, for meals as well as for a sitting and work-room, should it happen that there were no day-nursery; and only when her charges are asleep  for the night can she leave them in the care of the under nurse, or housemaid, to take her supper in the housekeeper's room, or with the other servants if there e none. The only female servants who have a right to avail themselves at all times, for meals and otherwise, of the housekeeper's room are the upper nurse and the lady's maid. The washing and dressing of a young infant must be exclusively done by the upper nurse, and that of the older children by the under nurse, always by the supervision of the former. She must take them out, wheel their carriage, and carry them in turn with her assistants. She has the dress and under-linen to make and mend, and she has the assistance of the under nurse, who acts at all times under her directions, helps her to make the bed, and does the rough work of cleaning the room and grate, making the fire, and bringing up the water and all the meals. Should the nurse be single-handed, she must be prepared to keep the nursery in all due order herself, and obtain assistance from the under housemaid, or the single-handed housemaid, as she could not be expected to leave her charge to fetch water, coals, nor the daily meals. She also lights her own fire when single-handed, unless assisted by the housemaid, and makes the beds. A head nurse receives from £18 to £25 or £30 per annum. Ordinary single-handed nurses in small households receive less. But the qualifications, experience, and age of the latter must always regulate the amount of wages expected, even should a valuable servant prefer a situation in a small family of limited means, and to undertake the whole charge of the nursery and its young occupants, to a situation of a higher character.

The UPPERHOUSE MAID. – The duties that devolve on this class of domestic servants are comparatively light, but they are only well performed by a careful, industrious woman – methodical, gentle in touch, and one who "has her eyes about her," knowing how to direct and superintend, and is not above assisting in any duties which are performed by the under-housemaid. Whether she be aided in her work, or be single-handed, that work must be the same in every house, great or small. The cleaning and arrangement of the breakfast room, boudoir, and then the drawing-room, should be accomplished before the family leave their bed-rooms; just as the cleaning of the hall, hall door, steps before it, and dining-room are all done by the cook or kitchen maid before their appearance downstairs. While the family are at breakfast the bed-rooms have to be set in order, the windows opened, the beds shaken and turned, the slops emptied, and all crockery washed and scalded, carafes, jugs, and tins refilled; a T-shaped sweeping brush wrapped in a wet cloth passed under the bed and all round the room where there may be no carpet; and a damp and dry duster employed in successively removing the dust from the whole room, especially all the ledges in the wood-work. The table, looking-glass, and cheval-glass, or that in the wardrobe door, should be well polished. The rugs should be taken out and shaken daily, the grate and irons cleaned; the cinders must be sifted from the ashes, and the latter removed before the dusting of the room, and the bed also, having been previously shaken and turned, may be re-made without making any fresh dust, the last thing in the finishing of the work. The making of the bed is no unimportant matter, as there is much variety of taste, and one person does not like the bed to be made as another may like it to be arranged. Thus the housemaid should observe what alterations have been made in the amount and ordering of the clothes, and also inquire whether any change would be agreeable. Housemaids are little aware how often the beds are completely re-made by their occupants, as visitors never like to give directions to the servants of their hosts, even in reference to the room especially allotted to their own use, and many are the comments made o dullness, and want of observation of those who attend to the bed-making.

The cleaning of the paint and of the windows, the washing of china ornaments, and the polishing of the furniture (if need be) should be the work appointed for a certain day in every week, a room or more being completely cleaned every week. The wiping down of the uncovered portions of the stairs and landings, and upper corridors and passages with a damp cloth should be the housemaid's daily work, but when two are kept it devolves on the under maid. The taking out of each rod, one at a time, to wipe underneath the carpet, should be done weekly, on a certain day, and each rod rubbed with a leather before being returned to its place. It is a most inconvenient and unsightly habit, adopted by half-trained maids, to always be taking up the whole of the stair carpet at once. Furniture polish should also be applied to the top of the balusters at intervals, and careful rubbing performed afterwards.

It is the housemaid's business to collect and count the linen to be washed, under the housekeeper's or lady's maid's supervision, weekly; to mend and hem the house-linen, and also to count all on its return home. She has to take down, shake, and put up the curtains and hangings; attend also to all the rugs and cushions in the house, and destroy all moths and flies which may be found behind the shutters in the spring or early summer. Of course, much devolves on the housemaid which properly is the work of the lady's maid, if there be none in the establishment, and in various ways in the nursery, and even sometimes in waiting at table, if only one man-servant be kept. It is also very usual for the office of housemaid to be combined with that of parlour maid, and this demands great quickness, method, and extra knowledge – such as that of cleaning plate, knives, lamps (including the entire management of the latter), the laying of the table, and the art of waiting well – observantly, in reference to the requirements of each individual at the table, quickly and noiselessly. As a housemaid's duties may be so much regulated by the circumstances of the establishment kept, she may have, as I said, to include some of those which naturally belong to the lady's maid, nurse, and footman, and must not be ready to say "this or that is not my work." She will also have to answer the hall door at certain times, if not always. Her wages range from £15 to £25 per annum.

The UNDER HOUSEMAID, UNDER NURSE and KITCHEN MAID are directed by the servants holding a higher position in the same department of service as themselves; and, with the exception of remarking that the kitchen maid is expected to dress the nursery and kitchen dinner, it is not necessary to enter into any detailed account of the work of each respectively.  The wages of all these maids vary from £9 to £14.

A GENERAL SERVANT should be a very well-informed person, particularly active, methodical and intelligent; yet she is usually more ignorant and more incompetent than any other class or servants. Well-trained and experienced persons naturally object to the almost never-ceasing work which their situation entails; but quickness and a judicious timing of all the work to be done will, with the kindly aid of her mistress, enable her so to get through her duties – if the dinner be an early one – and enable her to have a quiet hour or two for her own needlework or reading before bedtime. She will have to be an early riser, and she must manage her work so as to be dressed in the afternoon, to attend the hall door when visitors may be expected; but the enumeration of all her duties is superfluous in this place, as she needs only to study the directions given to the cook, housemaid, and parlour-maid to be fully acquainted with all her own work. Her wages vary, according to her efficiency as a cook especially, from £8 to £18.

Upon the duties of the Laundry and Under Laundry Maids, the still-room and the Dairy Maids it is scarcely necessary that I should write, and I hope in my next paper to add a few friendly words to those of my readers who have selected domestic service as their vocation.

19 March 1881 - 'Mourning Attire' by S.F.A. Caulfield

The outward symbol of affliction has been dignified with the name of the reality which it so feebly portrays. In the reality, and in its external shadow, I find a rather extensive subject for our consideration.

It has been a necessity of our pour human nature to give vent to feelings of distress in some manner from the earliest period of the world's history, ever since the day that sin "brought death into the world, and all our woe." And in the history of nations - as in those of each individual being, from the cradle to the bier - various in character have been the expressions of mortal anguish when "it must have way."

It is my intention to take a three-fold view of the subject: historical, sentimental (in the best sense of the term) and practical, and further, to consider the case of those who find satisfaction in wearing black garments; those who find none in so doing; and those who, desiring to wear mourning, have not the means to purchase it.

The Israelites use dot fast and weep and rend their garments, clothe themselves with sackcloth, hair-cloth, or coarse black or brown cloth. They sat in ashes, threw them on their heads, tore and cut off their hair and their beards, smote on their breasts and tore them, made loud wailing, and went barefoot and bareheaded. All the time of their mourning they sat at home or went to mourn at the grave, and ate whatever they allowed themselves on the ground, their faces being covered. They further gave vent to their misery by leaving their beds unmade, abstaining from the use of a bath, and all the duties of the toilet. It was, of course, impossible to protract a mourning of this description, and the ordinary limit was restricted to a week, but extended to a month on special occasions. Contemporary nations used to "cut themselves with knives and lancets," and gave vent to loud, and what we should regard as extravagant grief; and, as we are informed in a Holy Writ, they "made themselves bald  for the dead" (Jer. XVI, 6, 7).  The mourning by Joseph and the Egyptians for Jacob was of seven days - "a great and very sore lamentation;" and in the Book of Daniel, tenth chapter, three weeks are named as a period for mourning. From what the prophet Zechariah tells us, it would seem that men and women used to part company on such occasions, and give vent to their sorrow. They "put on mourning apparel," and abstained from their "anointing with oil." (See 2 Sam, XIV, 2.) It was also a custom to hire public wailing women to mourn after a complimentary manner, just as we hire "mutes" to wear black, and long black or white bands from their hats, and scarves. See Jer. IX, 17, 18 where "mourning and cunning women" are mentioned; as likewise in the prophecies of Amos V, 16, where persons "skilful in lamentation" are named.

I spoke just now of "the cuttings" made in evidence of grief  for the dead by the ancient Israelites as not being peculiar to them. The custom of self-bleeding obtained amongst the Greeks, and also the Turks, and the cicatrices left  for the remainder of life served as mementoes of the departed. As to the Lacedaeomonians, they used to tear the flesh from each other's foreheads with pins and needles in honour of deceased monarchs. The making bald also was by no means peculiar to the Israelites and their contemporaries,  for the Greeks and Romans cut off their hair, as an offering of what they greatly esteemed, to a deceased relative; and sometimes it was laid upon the grave. The whole Greek army would do the same in honour of a much esteemed general. It was also their habit to retire into solitude, and to throw ashes on their heads, under which circumstances it was well that they did cut off their hair; and as natural also that they wore a veil whenever they appeared in public. Their dress was of black. The early Peruvians had an unpleasant prejudice in favour of pulling out the eyebrows and eyelashes as an offering to the dead; and in savage tribes of modern times the sacrifice of the hair, more or less, much prevails, as amongst the Carib and Dakota tribes of North America. The former sacrifice their long and precious scalplock, which is plaited down their backs, as the utmost expression of their respect and utter distraction; and the latter also cutting short, like their slaves and captives, that in which they glory. I have read of some uncivilised tribes who make their expression of grief a still more unpleasant affair, that of cutting off a joint of a finger. Indeed, the devotion of the Greeks to the memory of their commanders is thrown into the shade by some of these aboriginal tribes, whose magnates gave orders that a hundred fingers should be cut off to do honour to the memory of a chieftain just deceased.

The colours adopted in various parts of the world to express respect  for the dead have been various. We derived our idea from the Romans, who wore a black toga for mourning, and sometimes left it off altogether  for the same purpose. So far as the men were generally concerned, the colour did not change either under the Empire or the Republic, but under the former the women wore white, under the latter dark blue - a colour adopted by some of the men.

The Egyptians, in all probability, gave the custom of hiring "wailing women" to sing and lament, and beat tambourines, divested of the tinkling metal plates, to the Israelites. Two or more were engaged to mourn for an hour at a time. Strange to say, the colour adopted by them for their mourning is yellow.

In Turkey they adopt blue or violet, in China and Japan white, and in Ethiopia brown. In Bokhara they wear purple, as we are informed by Thomas Moore, in "Lalla Rookh."

"Not glittering o'er
With gems and wreaths, such as the others wore,
But in that deep-blue, melancholy dress,
Bokhara's maidens wear in mindfulness
Of friends or kindred - dead, or far away."

But throughout Europe, the United States of America, and our own colonies and dependencies, black is universal for deep mourning; and grey, or black with a little admixture of white, for slight mourning.

I have now reached the second division of my subject - the sentiment, which supplies the origin of all external exhibition of grief, whether of a positive or negative character.

I have related many extraordinary customs very uncongenial to our feelings, but it must not be supposed that hypocrisy was necessarily exhibited; for, custom having prescribed certain observances, to devote time, care, self-mortification, and money to their accomplishment was surely an indication of genuine respect of affection. And, however barbarous the ceremony, it might have indicated as much genuine feeling as the shedding of quiet tears unseen at home. Few of us "creatures of habit," as we are bound by the prejudices of our friends, care to be remarkable, any more than less civilised nations, by acting after a contrary fashion to them.

But, without scandalising them, a considerable amount of personal freedom is conceded to all. And, moreover, "necessity has no law;" and the pecuniary circumstances of one person might permit of much indulgence in the outward expression of distress, while those of another allow of little or none. It is scarcely possible to find two leaves alike on the same tree; and so even among members of the same family features and characters vary too. Therefore as others differ from us in disposition, we must check all unkindly criticism, misjudging of motives and personal vain-glory. There may be no difference whatever in the depth of feeling between the individual who is shrouded in crape, and one who wears but the most trifling expression of mourning; experience continually proves the fact that each alike may -

"...have that within which passeth show."

A strong prejudice against the wearing of black is consistent with great strength of feeling, yet those who entertain it are too often misjudged. In their behalf I would observe that there are no black flowers in Nature, although there are sombre hues. Still there is nothing really black in the beautiful garment with which our world is clothed. Even the firmament above it, though inky-dark at night, is wondrously glorified and gladdened with its stars. I have known a great lover of the beauties of Nature who mourned  for the loss of one beloved for years so acutely that she could scarcely endure to speak of that bereavement, even to the day of her death. And yet she had such an objection to being wrapped in black attire that she omitted to wear it on some occasions when custom required its adoption. A sincere feeling of sorrow was veiled under an ordinary garb, for she wished to look up from the narrow bed, where her dear ones were laid, to their happy place of rest beyond the charnel house, and to shake off as much as possible all depressing influences that her mind might be the more absorbed in thoughts of the beatific vision of the hereafter. In reference to these mourners after a fashion of their own, I may quote the words of one who had studied human nature more closely than most of his fellows -

"'Tis not my inky cloak, good mother,
Nor customary suits of solemn black
That can denote me truly...
These but the trappings and the suits of woe."

At the same time our sympathies may be as tenderly and truly enlisted in behalf of that still larger company feeling a necessity for a vent for grief. Like the outburst of tears and convulsive sobs, that medium  for the relief of the nerves provided for all living, so the adoption of a sable garb supplies something of consolation to mankind in general. And then if some appear to outstep the limits of ordinary custom, in the amount of their crape and the duration of its wear, we must not be censorious, and charge them with affectation nor even with folly. Leave them alone and undisturbed for a season. Let it suffice for you to know that the hand of God is upon them, how heavily, for their state of mind, of health, of nerves, of faith, He only and they themselves can realise. Doctors will sometimes prescribe crying, even aloud, under a certain amount of mental and physical strain. The nerves demand an "opening of the floodgates." The bereaved ones must be left to turn their sad faces to the wall, and to unburden their hearts for awhile unrestrained. "The heart knoweth its own bitterness," God only knows it as well. "In all their affliction He is afflicted," of whom it is recorded, when, in a scene of mourning -

"Jesus wept!"

It is a gracious act of Christian charity to supply those of your poor friends or relatives, lacking the means to purchase them, with a black dress, bonnet, or out-door covering which their position in life would demand on such an occasion. For amongst these indigent persons there are those who would derive much consolation from showing outward marks of respect for their loved and lost; and none are so keenly sensitive, as a general rule, as poor gentlefolks, who struggle to keep up a certain appearance suitable to their birth, both because they wish to associate with their own connections, and because they would rather bravely struggle on under unseen privations, than prove a burden to their relatives, however, unintentionally. "Withhold not thy hand" in such cases as these. Light up the poor wan faces with a gleam somewhat akin to a smile, by helping them to vent their sufferings in some little external exhibition, in harmony with the "shadow of death" brooding within. In Nature the heavier the shower, the sooner the break in the cloud, the clearer the light, and the warmer the sunshine that follows - a meet emblem for that calm that succeeds a stormy grief, in trustful anticipation of the blessed "clear shining after the rain," and that "reaping in joy" of "those that sow in tears" - "sorrowing after a godly sort." Show no impatience. Let them give free vent to their trouble in their own way, having this consummation in view.

I have now arrived at the third and last portion of my subject - the practical part of so-called "mourning." To many a few hints may prove of service.

As to the length of its duration  for the several relationships in life, there can be no fixed and unalterable law. A widow, however, could not, with ordinary propriety, leave off her "weed" under a twelvemonth; nor should deep mourning be left off for a parent under that time. A year is not too long to wear it for a brother or sister; but under any circumstances no change should be made from the first deep crape until six months have elapsed. From three to six months for an uncle or aunt would be within ordinary rules, unless under special circumstances, of early residence under the same roof, or close relations of much affection or obligation. There is a paltry affectation of mourning which is very objectionable for women for a two-fold reason, because, while acknowledging the wearer's feeling of obligation to wear it, the least possible expense and trouble are conceded to that feeling. Better make no sign at all, than one so poor and mean. I allude to the wearing of a band of cloth or crape round one arm, the wearer being otherwise dressed in colours. The second objection to this "freak of fancy" is that it is an aping of a masculine style. In many respects men are allowed more license than women, and often wear a coloured overcoat, if not entire suit, together with crape on the hat alone. Women are hedged about by stricter rules; they are expected to show a greater semblance of grief in family troubles, and to shed tears more freely. Thus, to show any hardness or indifference to the usages of society, is to throw off a certain amount of feminine propriety and tenderness, at once unnatural and repulsive. Wear a black bonnet or hat, and black gloves, in lieu of that strap round one arm; and your ulster, though not a black one, may be worn by as true a mourner, and as true a "lady," as any in the land.

All mourning should be plain, without ornamental trimmings. A widow's dress may be nearly or altogether covered with crape. Paramatta and crape-cloth are suitable for widows, and these, with cashmere, grenadine, camel's hair cloth, and barathea may be worn in mourning for other connections; white for slighter mourning, whether of widows or others. Plain black lustreless silk may be worn trimmed with crape. Plain grey stuff trimmed with black are suitable for slight mourning; also crepe lisse collars, serge, nuns' cloth, and mohair. For inexpensive mourning cashmerette and alpaca can be worn. Even in deep and expensive styles a slight introduction of white may be permitted; and, for economy's sake, widows may cover their white cuffs with single crape, to keep them clean. Satin, lace, and fringe must be excluded from the black dress worn as deep mourning, either for a husband or very near relative.

The only material exclusively appropriated to mourning is crape, and this is a most expensive item. Only the best in quality is worth purchase, as the inferior kinds wear badly. The former may be renovated. To persons to whom a certain amount of economy is an object, I advise that crape should be reserved for a best dress, and for out-of-door wear; and that a perfectly plain dull black material should be adopted for home wear, and for an ordinary walking costume. French people do not wear crape, except for bonnet and veil. They consider that a plain black crape-cloth which may be sent to a laundress  for the common washing, a black woollen shawl, and black woollen gloves - not kid - are full mourning. I also recommend all those who are not wealthy, and who feel themselves under weightier personal obligations than those of "encouraging trade," to have one black dress always on the list of their wardrobe, which will be ready on any emergency, and save some outlay when, perhaps, their purses may ill afford to make it. Such a dress might be worn with equal propriety out of mourning, as it has of late years been so much disassociated with it, if only worn with some coloured article.

And while on the subject of crape I should not omit to tell you that, since it has been known that arsenic is employed in the dyeing of this material, people are less disposed to wear it constantly, and some even send it to go through the process of renovation when quite new, as by this means all that is injurious is abstracted: and it is, moreover, rendered impervious to damp. A crape bonnet no longer new may be restored to its original condition, without being taken off the frame, nor even removed from a silk lining. But were the latter of any other material, the removal would be necessary. If a warmer material than cashmere be desired, merino may be a good substitute. Sealskin fur, black lynx, or sable jackets and cloaks, muffs, and collars may be worn in the very deepest black with perfect consistency, but not as mere trimmings; and chinchilla is a good selection for a slighter degree of mourning, but where not very deep, any fur may be worn the price of which may render it suitable  for the means of the wearer.

This last observation reminds me to add a few words for those of my readers whose slender resources preclude their indulgence in what would be to them so great a solace in their affliction. Genuine grief will make itself quite apparent without intentional effort, or any external exhibition in the colour of the dress, at least, to all those whose intimacy, or near relationship would make that sorrow a matter of any interest. Thus no disrespect to the dead will be charged by them to the amount of your coloured dress. And if to add a few black ribbons to your bonnet - in lieu of some faded trimming of a different hue - and one dark outer covering, be all the attempt within your power to make, to conceal your ordinary dress when out of doors, do not fret over your inability to do more. That poor black ribbon tells as much on behalf of your loving remembrance, as the costly and elegant costume a wealthy neighbour may purchase, who consoles herself by the greatest outlay her ample means may afford. Think of it as the utmost that the wise providence of God permits you to do. He who regarded the widow's mite as more than all that of the rich, of their abundance, had cast into the treasury, because it was "all that she had." Could your lost ones revisit your dwelling, they would but say approvingly, "She hath done what she could." Besides, as a matter of principle, it is wrong to purchase mourning when the money is due for rent, taxes, or other responsibilities, or when required for outlay on clothing essential for warmth, or for suitable food for yourself, or your family.

I have now no more to say on the question which we have under consideration, unless it be to remind you of the somewhat remarkable example left us by David, when he lost his child. While he yet lingered in life, the King fasted and wept and prayed; but when God took him, he "washed his face and anointed his head," and, laying aside all external expression of grief, he resumed his public duties. Few could act thus; yet the example is worthy of consideration, as well as that recorded in the sixtieth chapter of the prophecies of Isaiah, twentieth verse, referring to that blessed hereafter, when -

"The days of thy mourning shall be ended."

12 February 1881 - 'Dinners in Society' by S.F.A. Caulfield

Perpetual solicitations on the part of the correspondents of this magazine to be further instructed in the  usages of "polite society" must plead my excuse  for the revival of a subject so trite and uninteresting to those no longer "girls."

Without further introduction, I will suppose that you are engaged to dine out, to meet a considerable assemblage of friends. Commence your preparations in good time, and let your dressing be completed a few minutes before the carriage is announced. To keep your elders waiting is most disrespectful; they have to choose between leaving you behind, or keeping your hosts and others waiting - spoiling their dinner, and perhaps of giving the horses cold also.

On being announced by one of the men-servants at the door of the vestibule or anti-room, you will find that your hostess awaits you, close at hand, within. Look at no one else, supposing that she had moved further into the drawing-room to lead some guest to a seat. Make a very slight curtsey as you give her your hand, a little act of politeness always observed in the upper ranks of society on formal occasions, and which needs to be practised, as it should be naturally and gracefully done. If not directed to a place, select one as little conspicuous as possible; not on a sofa, nor a large arm chair, unless desired to do so.

In ordinary society the ten minutes preceding the announcement of dinner are found to hang somewhat heavily on hand. Hungry, chilly, and possibly shy, or else naturally dull and uninteresting, people often appear to have nothing to say. I am, however, only writing for girls, who are not the proper leaders of general conversation. But they may speak to a next young neighbour without an introduction. After dinner you may assist your hostess in entertaining fellow-guests, though careful not to put yourself forward ostentatiously, so as to attract notice. Nothing could be in worse taste than to appear as if "doing the honours" (as people call it) of another person's house; instead of merely acting as a helper to her. Offer your small services, and follow her directions. I have seen young girls running about all over the room in a most forward and unseemly manner, taking the entire direction of the entertainment without the excuse of being daughters of the house.

But much may be gracefully and effectually done in a gentle, quiet way. Collect your thoughts before any kind of reunion, and be prepared with any little subjects of interest to form topics of pleasant conversation. Neither receive visitors at home, nor accept the hospitality of others, without making it a point of duty to return their kindness by making yourself agreeable. Do not sit silently scanning the dress of your neighbours, and saying nothing; nor answer in mere monosyllables, nor start when some one addresses you, as if you had just wakened up out of a nap. This is apt to occur in the case of young people who have few opportunities of mixing in society. Keep your hands still; do not move uneasily in your chair when first addressed, nor fiddle with the buttons of your gloves. Buttoned once they do not require to be touched again. Apart from any other objections to tricks like these, your awkward shyness presents a painful spectacle.

The dinner is now announced, and as the lady of the house has already signified to each of the gentlemen to whom he should offer his escort, and introduced to each other the pairs hitherto unacquainted, they all proceed to the dining-room according to the order of their respective precedence. With this matter - if ever a hostel yourself - you will have to make yourself thoroughly acquainted. Where there is no rank of birth nor professional position, age will always be your guide, which should never be overlooked.

I may here observe that "the girls" seem strangely solicitous about "which arm" a gentleman should present to the lady whom he conducts to the dining-room. Why they should feel so distracted about it I am at a loss to divine. One rule is enough for you - whichever arm your cavalier presents, accept it. Circumstances must guide him. Englishmen generally give the right, and foreigners the left. Where large entertainments are given the stairs are broad, as in our old country seats and stately town mansions. But in the humble dwellings of poor gentlemen and professionals, the narrow stairs have often an awkward turning at a sharp angle, leaving scarcely a ledge whereon to place the foot. Let the young man having a lady under his charge take due note of the stairs, and act accordingly.

You are now seated at table. Immediately after "grace" has been said, unfold your dinner-napkin, lay it across your lap, and remove both your gloves. Put the latter in your pocket, because if they fell from your lap under the table, your companion would have to dive under it to recover them on your rising to leave the room.

If you take soup do not crumble nor break your bread into it, except in the privacy of home, where a small dinner might be thus supplemented. Fried toast will be served with it if suitable. Take the soup from the side of the spoon - do not turn round the point to your mouth; make no noise in drawing in the liquid, nor in the act of swallowing it. If this offer you any difficulty practise the art at home. Lastly, do not hold up the plate on one side, nor make a scraping with the spoon; you can finish the soup easily without raising the plate.

Fish will next be handed round. Be careful in removing the bones with your fish-knife and fork, because a choking fit at dinner would not be an agreeable diversion to your neighbours; and to remove anything objectionable from your mouth at any time, whether of bone or gristle, is by no means a pretty exhibition. So put nothing in that is to come out, however cleverly and privately contrived. At small dinners given by persons of limited means, who may have no silver fish knives, you must only take your fork in your right hand and a small wedge-like crust of bread in the left, with which to assist the fork. Again, I must impress on you the impropriety of making a noise when eating, showing what is in your mouth by keeping your lips apart; and drinking before you have swallowed what you have been eating, or without wiping your mouth both before and afterwards.

Various courses follow that of the fish. Should curry chance to be one of the dishes, use both fork and spoon, but not your knife; and if helped to a tart containing stone fruit, remove the stones neatly from the plums with your fork. It is quite unnecessary to perform that operation in your mouth.

Possibly, at a private dinner, a hostess may press a guest to try some viand which she does not like. Of course the obligations on a hostess are even more strict than those on a guest, simply because the latter is dependent on her wishes; and so long as she remains under her roof, her comfort and feelings, in every way, should be consulted. Thus, to press her to eat or drink after she has declined, is an act of ill-breeding. At the same time it would be gross rudeness to show a distaste for any dish laid before you, or to persist in refusing it, were it pressed upon you. Self-denial is a Christian grace. Amongst half-civilised nations it is a mark of distinction conferred on any guest for a chief to roll up some morsel of food in his hands, and insert the greasy pellet with his own unassisted fingers into the mouth of the visitor. To decline it - because by no means an appetising morsel - would be a reflection on the good taste of the host, and an evidence of ingratitude for the distinction intended. Moreover, your rejection of the bonne bouche might cost you your head, or purchase the novelty of a javelin through your heart!

Apropos of controlling your fancies at table or elsewhere, rather than cast a reflection on one who wishes to please you, I will mention a little incident told me long ago by one to whom I owe much of my own early training in the usages of society. Now a very aged and venerable man, his parents had lived much about the Court of the old King George III, having been honoured with his personal intimacy He himself had lived and visited amongst the grandees of the Court of the Prince, as Regent and King, and was regarded as a man of most accomplished manners. Thus, I have no hesitation in giving my young readers advice derived from such competent authority.

The Prince Regent was styled "the first gentleman in England," for, like our own Prince of Wales, few had so keen an intuitive perception of the principles that govern all rules of good breeding. On one occasion he had indulged in taking snuff, and turning to a lady beside him, he presented his open box and invited her to take a pinch likewise. Alas! The good woman was not equal to the occasion; she was not in the habit of taking snuff - perhaps she disliked it; in fact, she had not learnt her less in good manners. So she thanked him and declined. Of course he felt as if charged with an indiscretion; but, always self-possessed and dignified, he simply turned to another lady and made her the same offer. This time he had met with a woman who was not out of her place in a palace. She thanked him graciously for so distinguishing her, and took the snuff, just sufficient of course to smell, but not to produce a sneeze. Her act justified that of the Prince, who was only testing her good manners, and he showed his recognition of her conduct by presenting her with the beautiful jewelled box, as a memento of the occasion.

Again I must conduct you back to the dining-room. Observe how highly-bred people eat asparagus. They feel with the knife where the soft part ends, and dividing the stems, they eat with the fork. It is a disgusting spectacle to see people draw out a mangled end from their mouths reduced to a ragged fringe. Never eat peas with a spoon. You may change the fork into your right hand and use it as one, or you may press the peas with it - still in the right hand - making them adhere conveniently together. Excepting at a private dinner, where little variety if any is provided, never ask for a second help from the same dish.

Take care to keep your hands off the table. Never fiddle with the salt, nor the spoon, knife and fork, and make no crumbs with your bread. Avoid coughing, and the use of your handkerchief; having a cold you should remain at home. If disposed to sneeze, from pepper or mustard, contrive to hold your nose with your handkerchief for a moment, to stop it in time, but do so unobserved if possible. After the game, cheese is carried round, and its usual accompaniments of butter and biscuits, &c. If you take butter, do not scrape off a piece against the rim of your plate, turning the face of the knife downwards, as if you were cleaning a putty-knife on the edge of a piece of glass. Contrive to loosen the butter, so as to place it fairly in the plate at one side. Should you also take cheese, butter a small piece of bread or biscuit, place a piece of cheese upon it, and convey it to your mouth in this way. To do so with the blade of a knife is highly objectionable, and contrary to all rules that obtain in the upper ranks of society, though many, otherwise well-bred people, may be seen careless in this respect in private, and elderly people also allow themselves much license in trifling matters, which they do not mean to form an example to younger people. Such little infringements of the orthodox rules should not be criticised by young people. Advancing life sometimes brings lassitude and indifference about them; and, moreover, what would evidence much selfishness and greediness in youth, is only to be regarded as the consent of an infirm person with a poor appetite, to be suitably nursed and provided for.

Dessert is now served, and the finger-glasses and d'oyleys are removed from all the plates by their respective owners. Fruit often presents difficulties to the consumers; what with the stones, skins, shells, or rind; it is not always easy to eat in a delicate and refined manner. Half-bred people may be seen inserting pieces of orange into their mouths and drawing out the peel again, showing the remains of the pulp on their plates. Pomegranates present some difficulty amongst other fruits. They are full of juice, and equally so of stones, too large to be swallowed wholesale. Cut one in two, and with the spoon press the stones within, as in a cup, extracting and taking up the juice with it.

Having taken what fruit they require, each lad dips her fingers in the finger-glass, and touches her lips also with the water, dries them, and puts on her gloves. She then lays the napkin on the seat of her chair. The lady of the house watches to attract the notice of the chief guest, seated at her husband's right hand, and smiles and bows to her, and they rise simultaneously, followed by all. The host opens the door, the chief lady walks out first, the rest according to their respective precedence, and the gentlemen stand until all have retired to the drawing-room.

In conclusion, I have a word of advice to offer on the subject of dinners at home, or after a homely fashion. Observe what dishes are being used, and those on which there appears to be a kind of "run," and never ask for that of which there is little, to the deprivation of any one yet unhelped. When there is a tart or pie uncut, there being sufficient of some other dish, show some little consideration for your hostess. The expenses and difficulties of housekeeping in families of small means are great. Keep your eyes about you. Remember the invalids, or those advanced in years Some small delicacy at the table may perhaps have been prepared for them. Try also to supplement the efforts of your hostess. However hospitable, and ready to give you anything you would like, she would appreciate a thoughtfulness on your part, that would leave something nice for one who is always last helped, or would spare an unbroken dish  for the following day, without making the reason too apparent. Would you wish her to replace a sort of wreckage of all in her small larder in return for her kindness to you?

25 September 1880 - 'Food for Invalids'

Miss S.F.A. Caulfield, one of our most valued contributors, has just published a handbook on "Home Nursing,"* which we recommend our readers to procure for themselves, n order that they may be able, upon any sudden emergency, to undertake with proficiency the important duty of nursing any member of their own household. This is a noble and most humanising occupation for a girl, and is a work which, above all others, is calculated to bring down upon the worker feelings of respect, admiration, and love.

Writing on food for invalids, Miss Caulfield says: - Food must be made to look as attractive as possible, and also cooked so as to please the taste of the invalid. The question of "well-done" and "under-done" meat is a vexed one; but it matters not which may be the prescription of the doctor for ordinary cases if, in any particular one, there be a natural loathing for either mode of dressing. What is eaten with appetite and relish is likely to nourish far more than what is crammed down as a loathsome duty at which the stomach revolts. And as such is the case with some people in reference to slightly cooked meat, on no account should any be presented to them that they will regard with abhorrence and heaving of the stomach. I have known an invalid turn from even a fairly-cooked slice of meat, and say he "was not hungry," but when I stuck a little scrap on a toasting fork, and held it in the fire till scorched, and, while almost too hot to eat, I put a scrap of fresh butter on it, and a sprinkle of pepper, he ate it at once, and asked for more, and thus got a light meal that he not only enjoyed, but that did him good. We do not make light of the rules prescribed by science - very far from it - but we cannot for their sake dare to set aside the laws of kindness and common sense, which have their own time for supremacy, if only the nurse have the judgment to decide on the when.

Much discretion must be observed in allowing the patient to have his own way. Never thwart his trifling fancies if at all permissible to indulge them. He will mind you the more when you must have submission. For instance, let him choose his own position, however awkward it may look; e must know which muscles are mot weary, and how to give them relief, and he wants variety. Lying on the back is often the most distressing of all positions, and should not be insisted upon. Remember how often an infant's crying is stopped by turning on its stomach; it brings relief to internal pain, and new rest to the tired frame; and where there is a cough, or difficulty in breathing, to turn over on the stomach and rest on the elbows, or lie down and lay the face just at the edge of the pillow, will usually put the patient to sleep.

Sick people do not like their soup, tea, or other drinks spilt into the saucer, nor to return to an old piece of jelly or pudding which they have not been able to finish. All that they have tasted should be at once removed, and fresh brought in when required, a rule which holds good as regards lemonade or such-like beverages, which should be poured fresh from the jug into a clean glass. But never leave even the untouched supply in the jug or dish in the sick chamber. Germs grow quickly in organic matter, and in all liquids. Milk and soup, and any description of food, may receive and spread infection. Vessels employed for milk, or any such drinks, the feeding cup included, must be scalded out with boiling water.

It may be desirable  for the patient to take warm "slops" and milk puddings. Take care not to nauseate the poor creature with more than really must be taken, in change with other things. I have heard a patient say, "How sickly those tasteless sops are!" Why destroy the little inclination for food which he has by loading him with what he dislikes? The importance of cultivating any little returning fancy for food - while under the influence of confinement to one room, loss of exercise, of sleep, of permission to eat a variety of things, all combined with depression of spirits, bodily pain, and a stomach oppressed with drugs - cannot be too strongly insisted upon. Unless attractive, it will not stimulate the flow of that secretion of the mouth which is absolutely requisite to promote digestion.

In cases where there is a strong tendency to sickness, endangering the loss both of food and medicine, the nurse must have recourse to ice. A small scrap that can be swallowed entire, should be given immediately before the dose, and a similar piece immediately after it. In the same way, when giving cold chicken broth in strong jelly (which a sick person can retain better than any other kind of food), or in giving a spoonful of consommé, administered in dessert, or even teaspoons, at considerable intervals one from another, ice should be given both before and after it Should the nausea be obstinate, a mustard plaster on the pit of the stomach is likely to relieve it; and, in still more serious cases of disposition to vomit, as for instance, when at sea, and where haemorrhage is feared, the use of an indiarubber ice bag will reduce the symptoms when nothing else will. It is a sort of long belt with a brass clasp, divided into three or four pocket inside. The ice should be broken into very small pieces, and when secured by the clasp, the bag should be laid down the spine from the nape of the neck. The result will probably be demonstrated at once. The spinal cord being connected with the brain, the brain powerfully influenced by the stomach, and the latter by the brain, relief is almost immediate, and sleep will probably supervene. But it should be a golden rule never to attempt strong remedies unless simple ones have failed, and no medical man can be obtained to give advice.

While on the subject of food, there is one rule to which I attach much importance. In cases of extreme weakness let no word be uttered by the patient for a full hour after his dinner, nor at least for half an hour after breakfast and tea. It would be expedient for the nurse to retire into the ante-room for that time, leaving the door ajar, and telling him the reason of her so doing. There is more exhaustion produced by conversation than is generally imagined, and in cases of pulmonary disease, bronchitis, and sore throat, this is felt by the sick. But the fact that the brain and stomach, so closely connected as they are, should not be simultaneously set at work is quite sufficient argument, apart from all physical fatigue entailed.




* SICK NURSING AT HOME. By S.F.A. Caulfield. Published at 170, Strand.

17 July 1880 - 'Nursing as a Profession' by S.F.A. Caulfield

 I am given to understand that many of the readers of this paper are anxious to obtain all the information that can be procured on the subject of nursing, with a view to its selection as their vocation in life. The task of writing an article on this question is one of some little difficulty. Although regarding it as a grand profession, and one supplied with a staff most inadequate in numbers for a population such as ours, I decline the responsibility of recommending it, or of dissuading those disposed to join its ranks. According to the rough calculation made, and that probably under the mark, "to nurse the sick of all England properly, twenty-five thousand trained nurses, officered by one thousand fully-trained lady-superintendents, are required." In such hands with the work to be done could be fairly proportioned.

Before supplying any information as to the schools and hospitals in which the requisite training can be obtained,  the individual qualifications for a nurse should be carefully considered. These may be classed as mental, moral, and physical; each and all being indispensible in a "probationer."

Under the mental and moral she must possess good temper, self-control, patience, punctuality, cheerfulness, and a willing obedience to those in authority over her. Under the physical, good health, good sight, a delicate touch, quickness of hearing, dexterous fingers, cleanliness, and suitability of age. A chronic cough, a heavy tread, a tendency to faint, or to attacks of hysterics, any description of deformity, or repulsiveness in appearance and expression, would disqualify a candidate for permanent employment as a nurse.

Furthermore, it is only fair to those having so arduous a calling in contemplation, to prepare them for loss of rest, painful scenes, and the necessity  for the performance of every office that one human being could perform for another, both to relieve suffering, and to render the surroundings of a sick bed as comfortable and cheerful as possible.

No "fine lady" who calls any charitable service "menial work" should adopt such a vocation. And besides the trial of performing personally repugnant and painful duties, the ill-temper, ingratitude, and fretfulness of her charge must all be anticipated, and accepted patiently, as a part of the sacrifice that a nurse has to make.

Nursing should not be lightly undertaken, nor merely as a means of obtaining a livelihood. A competence, a home, an interest in life, and in some cases a small pension, are to be found by the professional nurse, but certainly not a fortune.

Judging from those whom I have seen or known, they seem to be happy and contented, and even cheerful; yet with a certain amount of gravity, which an intimacy with so much suffering must inevitably produce. But the cheerfulness can be quite as naturally accounted for in the fact that, they are able to assuage that pain, to aid so much in the cures effected, and to comfort the sad and sorrowful. You may now weigh the blessedness of the work against all its trials and self-denials, and then deliberately make your decision.

The profession is divided into three departments - viz., District Nursing, Hospital Nursing, and Private Nursing. Thus the intending nurse has some choice permitted her in the description of work to be done, and the external circumstances with which she would prefer to be surrounded. Beginning with the first-named departments - giving, as I consider, the severest description of work - I cannot do better than quote from Florence Nightingale, when she describes the extra labour incumbent on the "district nurse," over and above the personal attendance / sick. For instance, she goes into a dirty, squalid-looking room, and before she can hope for any change  for the better in her patient, she must "recreate the home," and "show it clean for once; sweep and dust away; empty and wash out the dirt; air and disinfect; rub the windows, sweep the fireplace; carry out, shake, and replace the scraps of carpet; lay them down again, fetch fresh water, fill the kettle, wash the patient and the children, and make the bed." Besides this she must "bring such sanitary defects as produce sickness and death to the notice of the public officer whom it concerns."

Having shown the dark side of the picture, I proceed to tell that the district nurse is well cared for when she returns to the home provided for her, and the pleasant companionship of those who have selected the same honourable profession. I need not enter into particulars, as the intending nurse should visit the several institutions where training is to be obtained. Let her see the home for herself, learn its rules, and take a view of the prospect which would open before her, as a probationer in one of the twenty-two institutions that train for themselves, or supply other hospitals.

The "Institution for Nursing Sisters" in Devonshire-square, is the oldest of the kind, and was established in 1840. It provides no less than 20 districts each with a nurse free of charge, but untrained; and trained ones for those who can pay for their services.

With the "Metropolitan and National Association' for providing trained nurses for the poor (free of charge) I have had some acquaintance, for through the kindness of Miss Florence Lees, late Superintendent-General of the institution, I have inspected every part of the central home in Bloomsbury-square. The four branch homes connected with it are all governed by the same regulations. In these houses candidates reside for a month on trial, and if suitable are passed on to the Hospital Training School, as "nurse probationers," to receive a year's training in hospital nursing. They are then returned to the Central Home to be trained in "district nursing," receiving technical class instruction during a period of three months, when, if found satisfactory, they are entered on a register, and placed on the staff of the association. A member so enrolled is expected to continue in the service of the association for three years, three months' notice being given on either side, should a termination of the engagement be desired. Nurse candidates have to pay £5 on admission to the home, to cover the expense of her board, lodging, and washing during the month of trial.

For the year's training in St. Thomas's Hospital Training School the probationers pay £15 on admission, and £15 after six months of residence and training. For this she will have full board, 1s 6d a week for washing, a uniform dress, a separate furnished bed-room, and the use of a common sitting-room. The instruction is paid for out of the "Nightingale Fund," but in case of dismissal, or of voluntary withdrawal the cost will be charged.

When the probationer returns to the home, after the year's training, she will have to pay in advance £14 for three months' training in "district nursing," class instruction, books, full board, and extras; 2s 6d allowance weekly for washing; a separate room (or compartment), and the general sitting-room. Once fully trained, and on the staff of the association, the nurse receives a salary, payable quarterly, of £35  for the first year, £38  for the second, and so on, increasing by £3 yearly until the sixth year, when it will amount to £50 per annum, in addition to their uniform dress, full board, separate bed-room, washing, etc.

From giving a sketch of the terms on which the candidate enters the "Metropolitan Nursing Association," I will give a general idea of those of other institutions. The age at which a candidate is taken varies between twenty-five and forty. At St. Thomas's Hospital she enters as a "Nightingale probationer," at a rising salary, beginning at £10, with partial uniform; and her services are at the disposal of the committee for a period of four years. Here ladies may be trained on a payment of a £30 premium, and after one year will receive a salary rising from £25 to £50, but they are expected to give their service for four years.

At the Royal Free Hospital (Gray's Inn-road) the nursing is done by the "Training School of Protestant Nurses," of Cambridge-place, Paddington, and probationers begin with a salary equivalent to fourteen guineas, rising to £25. Here they give a three months' training at the rate of £1 15s per week, or £30 for one year. In this latter case they are required to give their services for a period of two years extra.

At the Middlesex Hospital lady pupils are receives for not less than six months at one guinea a week. Probationers begin with a salary of £12, rising to £18 after the first year, and then by £2 yearly up to £26.

At the London Hospital "nurse probationers" receive £12 on admission, rising to £21; but they are not promoted to be "sisters." These latter are educated women entering as "sister probationers," whose salary begins at £25 six months after their admission. Both these and the nurses are required to remain three years in the hospital.

At King's College and Charing Cross Hospitals, probationers receive £15 per annum and their uniform. They are bound for three years' service, an engagement renewable for another three years, with a rising salary. Both hospitals are nursed by the community of "St. John's House," Norfolk-street, Strand. Pupil nurses for district work or other institutions are trained for six months at the rate of £24 per annum. Ladies also are trained for not less than three months at a rate of £50 per annum.

At Westminster Hospital probationers begin with £16 per annum. If willing to pay £52 for their training, they are not required to remain there beyond it.

At University College Hospital nurses receive £16 per annum, and everything found for them.

St Mary's Hospital, Paddington, trains gentlewomen and nurses desirous of qualifying for public appointments, or private nursing for one year. If required by the matrons so to do, they remain for fifteen months. They serve then as assistant-nurses, and are paid at the rate of £10 and uniform. Those who pass this year of probation satisfactorily are entered in a register, and recommended for employment.

The Deaconess Institution and Training Hospital will train women of known religious character gratuitously, if they propose to become deaconesses; and will supply them as nurses to public institutions at £12 per annum. (The Green, Tottenham, N.) These have a branch institution at Mildmay Park, and a hospital at Poplar.

The Institution of Nursing Sisters, in Devonshire-square, supply's Guy's Hospital, where the annual salary of sisters amounts to £50 and dresses, and which has a Superannuation Fund for them.

Nurses are also trained at St. Bartholomew's and other institutions in town, including the Children's Hospital (Great Ormond-street), where lady pupils are received of from 21 to 35 years of age, at one guinea a week; and nurses of from 17 to 35 years at 7s 6d a week, for not less than six months. At the London North-Eastern Hospital ladies are received for training at a guinea a week.

In Edinburgh and Dublin, at Liverpool, Manchester, Cambridge, Leeds, Winchester, Leicester, Rhyl, Nottingham, and elsewhere, training is to be obtained.

There are other descriptions of work connected with the profession of nursing, such as, for instance, tending the insane, into which it is not necessary that I should enter in this article. Were I to give my private opinion as to the nature of the work to be performed, in the three departments to which I have referred I should say that "district nursing" was the severest of all; hospital nursing ranking next, in the trying nature of its experiences; and private nursing the least troublesome, allowing, of course, for some exceptional cases.

I have only named a few of the training schools for intending probationers, amongst the twenty-two or more valuable institutions which exist in London or its suburbs. Of the "Bible and Domestic Female Mission" at 13, Hunter-street, of which Mrs. Ranyard was founder, I should have made a particular mention, but that our magazine is especially designed for young people, whereas the nurses connected with this missionary society are required to be nearly of middle age. Still, the young nurse may have this institution in view, as providing a sphere of usefulness for her of a two-fold character in her after life.

Of such a sacred vocation as that of nursing it may indeed be truly said that

"If it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives, and him that takes."

10 April 1880 - 'The Art of Letter Writing' by S.F.A. Caulfield

 

On sitting down to write a letter the first thing you should do is ask yourself - "How shall I best please the individual to whom I write? What will interest her the most? How may I relieve her of any feeling of anxiety?" Put these questions to yourself, and use your common sense; and be sure your letter will gratify the receiver. The writing of one with such an end in view occupies time well spent, and you will have carried out faithfully the second grand principle - "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might."

First of all, you should never lay aside your dictionary till your spelling difficulties are all mastered. Our language is very arbitrary, and there is no absolute rule as regards the dropping or retention of the middle "e" of words that end with "able", and those also that end with "ment"; and in the doubling of "t"s, "r"s, "l"s and "p"s. If you have a letter to write, no matter to whom, look out every word rather than spell incorrectly; the trouble taken will impress it on your memory.

As regards the writing itself, remember that it is a vulgar, ill-bred thing to do to form your letters incorrectly; it is not only an evidence of bad taste and awkwardness, but it is an act of discourtesy to the person addressed. It seems as though you thought that any scrawl would be sufficiently good, and you put your friend to inconvenience when giving the trouble of deciphering your unsightly hieroglyphics. It cannot be polite to give needless trouble; and thus, in sending an ill-written and ill-spelt letter, you have broken that great "law of kindness" which is the very foundation of all "good breeding". Do not let a silly feeling of vanity induce you to make "pot hooks and hangers" after your own eccentric fancy, nor elaborate flourishes, which only occupy needless space and spoil the style of your writing. When you can copy the copper-plate pattern given in your copy-books with perfect facility, then take some good running hand that you admire, and imitate what you please in that, to modify a little the copy-book style which you have acquired.

Having accomplished the difficulties of spelling and of calligraphy, you should practice the writing of ordinary notes, such as those of invitation or acceptation of evening entertainments. Turn the sentences and say the same thing in every possible variety of way; but take care to complete your sentences, leave nothing elliptical nor equivocal. Avoid all abbreviations, such as "I'm", "yr", "wd" and so forth, it is a kind of impertinent familiarity a free-and-easy style that is by no means ladylike, nor even respectful.

You may very naturally ask why I pronounce abbreviations to be vulgar. I may explain the reason by comparing the off-hand style of representing a word of half-a-dozen letters by two, to the recognition of an acquaintance by a short nod of the head, instead of a polite bow. Suppose yourself ushered into a drawing-room, and instead of a graceful inclination, imagine yourself giving a short nod to the assembled guests, in return to their courteous salutations. How unseemly it would be, I scarcely need to say, and the same rule that forbids the one breach of politeness forbids the others. Why? Because it is an impertinent familiarity which, uninvited, you force upon other. To be guilty of this, is to lower yourself, and detract from that respectful regard which you might all win; more than this - it is offensive to others.

But there are few rules that admit of no exceptions, and while abbreviations are ill-bred in a private letter, they are quite admissible in trade correspondence. "Time is money" and neither familiarity, nor discourtesy is understood by short signs and diminished words, written at the utmost speed; in these days when steam carriages cannot convey our business messages sufficiently fast and telegraphs and telephones are brought into requisition.

Avoid slang expressions in writing as much as in speaking. Try to write sound grammatical English, if you cannot attain to a still higher and more elegant style. There is an evidence of a want of self-respect in writing or speaking in a careless, slip-slop, anyhow manner. Do not end your sentences with little pronouns, not ever confound the imperfect tense with the past participle, and make no mistakes about the subjective mood.

I am not going to give you a lesson in grammar; you have one at home, and need only to study it with attention, to understand the allusions to it which I have made, and to know as much about it as I can tell you.

Having mastered the first three difficulties in the way of letter-writing - difficulties which you are disposed to weigh far too lightly - the subject matter of your letter, and the mode of address is next to be considered.

Punctuation is little understood by ordinary letter-writers, and it occasions much difficulty to the reader. Besides, the meaning of a sentence may be completely altered, or, at least, mystified, by placing a stop in the wrong place. Always place commas before and after a parenthesis, and never forget your full stops. If the "i" needed not a dot, and the "t" a cross, you would not have been taught to add them. In any case, your business is to make your writing as legible as possible, so as to save all trouble to the reader.

And now I will suppose that, prepared at all points so far, you are waiting, pen in hand, to commence an epistle. Collect your thoughts for a moment. If not a little note, the date must be written at the top of the page, and your present address in full, which latter must never be omitted in any letter, as former letters may be mislaid and the address forgotten, and so the omission on your part may give trouble and delay to an answer. Should a journey or sickness be in question, you should give the hour, as well as the day - for good news at a certain time of the day might give hope of permanent recovery, and show some crisis to be past; and if you have just arrived from a journey, those you have left behind will like to know all such little particulars. Remember that nothing is insignificant to those who care for you, and nothing should be too troublesome for you to do in reward for their interest and affection. Do not make your letter like a washerwoman's list, or a grocer's bill by writing the year with a long stroke, and the last two figures only, nor substitute a mere numeral  for the name of the current month. This is a very vulgar style - write it in full.

The superscription being now completed, we begin with the first part of your letter. Consider to whom you are writing; if to one of your own immediate family - father, mother, brother, sister, uncle, aunt or grand-parents, never omit the word "my", whether it be followed only with "dear" or any term of a more demonstrative character; it is due to the near tie of blood, and it would be in extremely bad taste to omit it. Consider, if you have just left home, what news will be most welcome, i.e., that of your safe arrival, a little account of the journey, of your reception, of how your hosts are, and whom you have met, how you are lodged, and what plans, if any, have been formed for your business-arrangements or for your entertainment. Let your writing be clear, let the size of your hand be suited to the reader for whom is designed. If an old person (as for a child), it should be larger than for anyone else; otherwise let it rather be small and round, than large and scrawled. I have seen many hands that would cover the whole length of a line with two words, they should be very significant and contain very good news indeed to be worth so much valuable space!  It is so disappointing to those who care for the news you could send, to see an empty sheet of paper; which, had the writer been more thoughtfully kind, and willing to take a little trouble to please, might have given so much satisfaction to a whole family party.

The second part of your letter should be devoted to inquiries and expressions of interest about those you have left behind. Were any of them ailing in health? Were any otherwise in anxiety or distress/ Had any one of them engaged in any work or enterprise? Is there anything which you might do for them in your absence? Make your inquiries, express your sympathy, offer your services, or give your advice, if seemly so to do. Let them see that you are not wholly absorbed with your own amusements and personal interests, that you do not send them any sort of an epistle, just because you had to write, and evidently grudged the miserable pittance of news, and of time you squeezed out of your ample leisure to write. Alas! How often has a letter of this sorry description given a pang, untold to any sympathising ear, to one who perhaps provided the means of every pleasure which the thankless writer enjoyed!

Lastly, tell, so far as you may be able, when you hope to write next, where the answer is to be addressed, and give any messages that your hosts may wish to convey through you. Remember to send loves and kind remembrances to each and all, but do not "lump" either of your parents in the "all" to whom you may send them. They should always have a distinct and separate recognition and, as a rule, personal mention is always more appreciated by every one, because more kind, than that made in mere general and collective terms. In signing your name, or pet name if writing to any of the near relatives before enumerated, be careful never to omit the mention of your own relationship to the person you address; 'i.e., "Your affectionate daughter - sister - niece". Never sign yourself "Yours affectionately" for this would be unseemly and a making light, as it were, of your ties of near and dear relationships to them. You will observe how, throughout the whole of the rules which I have prescribed for you, that every one of them, and the whole composition of the letter suggested, is based on that golden "law of kindness" which I told you was the very foundation of all good breeding.

And now, suppose that, instead of writing the first letter yourself, you have one to answer. Observe whether any questions have been asked, and begin by answering them all, at once. Never forget to do so. There is also another fault into which some letter-writers fall - instead of giving any news, they merely recapitulate the scraps of information received in the letter they are answering.

For example, they say "It must be very pleasant to you have your aunt with you; and what a surprise such and such an event must have been! No doubt you feel glad that so-and-so" etc, "and your plan of doing so-and-so will doubtless prove a good one", and so on, through a most uninteresting and truly aggravating letter winding up with repetitions, just as it began. Some notice of news received and sympathy expressed, as the case may be, is a very good thing, but not to the exclusion of news.

In directing a letter, if to a visitor in the house of another person, never fail to add the owner's name to the address. Thus -

Miss B____
Care of John K____, Esq,
Warrendale,
Etc, etc.

And observe, also, do not abbreviate the words "Care of" to "c/o" for this is altogether in commercial style and very unladylike.

And now I leave my rules and illustrations  for the earnest and kindly consideration of my readers, begging them never to fall into the grave error of imagining that anything is but a trifle, and beneath their consideration, for

"Grains of sand the mountains make,
And atomies infinity."

21 February 1880 - 'Hats and Bonnets of the Nineteenth Century' by S.F.A. Caulfield

In which we invite the readers of the G.O.P. to LOL at the ridiculous things people used to wear on their heads.

The extraordinary freaks of fashion in olden times scarcely exceed the absurdities into which we have been led since the first development of a bonnet out of the hat. This variation in our out-of-door head-dress dates from the year 1795. The original bonnet was shaped like a jockey-cap, the brim in front spreading out rather far on a line, with the top of the ear. It was tied on with lavender-coloured strings without ends, was composed of straw, the dome-shaped crown, decorated with red perpendicular stripes, meeting at the top (still jockey fashion) while the projecting brim was plain, and a wreath of laurel leaves surrounded the head.

Small-sized bonnets continued to be worn, as well as hats, up to about the year 1820, when, as our illustration will show you, the brim had expanded and there was no cap border to fill up the empty space underneath it. Some kind of ribbon ruching decorated the brim all round, the latter reaching down below the ear; and there was also a ribbon trimming for back round the crown.

Ten years afterwards a very plain and unbecoming style came into fashion - trimmings were almost at a discount. One plain piece of ribbon was passed round the middle of the coarse straw bonnet, the ends of which were tied under the chin; while, at the back and under the flat-lying crown, there was a frilling of the ribbon or of a piece of silk of the same colour, as a finish to the bonnet, and a shade to the back of the neck, called a "curtain". The straw was either of the natural colour, or else dyed black or brown. Sometimes a plainly-tied bow was placed, like a butterfly, on the top of the head, midway between the crown and the brim. Such a bonnet as this may still be seen on the girls of some of the "charity schools".

A few years afterwards young people often wore beaver bonnets, which were shaped much in the form of the above-named "cottage". These were trimmed with thick silk cords and tassels, matching them in colour.

Simultaneously with the wearing of these two descriptions of bonnets, turbans were in fashion amongst the dowagers, and these were transmitted from a still earlier date. A beautiful satin of a delicate shade of French plum-colour, or violet-grey, was sometimes manufactured into a high turban kind of cap, having a flat band of the material across the head, a high "caul" standing up at the back, and a narrow frill of lace round the face. Others wore a loosely-twisted and more Turkish-looking turban; either of velvet, or silk, or of both folded together and usually very bright in colour .These were decorated, as in the illustration, with feathers or other ornaments.

It is scarcely surprising that the hideous article known as the "cottage bonnet" of 1830 ceased to have any attractions after a reign of some seven years, and that we flew into another, and just opposite, extreme of fashion, when the immense flaring bonnet, assigned to the year 1837, the year of the accession of Queen Victoria, took the economical amongst us so painfully by surprise, with its floral decorations inside the deep front, and the three or four nodding ostrich plumes, towering high above the crown. The strings securing it were tied, in bows on one side, and, as you may imagine, it was a matter of some inconvenience to walk out on a rough day, as the preposterous front acted quite as a wind-sail, and it was with no little difficulty that it could be kept on the head. The name of this ill-contrived head-covering was an "opera hat", though "hat" it really was not; and it was either made of plain velvet or of silk. It is also worth observing that they were worn not merely out of doors and at the opera, but also at balls.

In a couple of years from the first appearance of the "opera hat", some modifications took place; the shape was a little changed, but the dimensions were reduced, and the trimming was omitted - at least, a plain band round the crown, a binding round the brim, a curtain, and a bow or two at the back, replaced the costly plumage of the previous two years. A cap border was also worn, very slight round the upper part over the hair, and very wide and thick at each side of the face.

Passing over some few years, and the trifling varieties, regulated by individual fancy, either of the milliner or the wearer, helping to fill a gap in the history of fashion, we find that a soupcon of the discarded "cottage" appeared about the year 1846, rather less unsightly, yet meagre in design, lying flat on the head, brim and crown being run into one, and parallel respectively with each other. A wreath of leaves or flowers enlivened its dullness outside, together with some narrow bands of ribbon or velvet laid across it at equal distances apart. No cap-border was worn with this head-gear, but the vacant space between the front and the face was partially filled up by large sausage-like rolls of hair, laid against the cheek and extending to the jaw, while a comb confined the braids across the forehead just above the eyebrows. These very unpretentious bonnets were made of straw, and were tied on, under the chin, with a bow of broad ribbon, the shallow curtain being of straw. Very pretty fancy straw bonnets were worn within the years 1840 and 1850, with trimmings of the same. These were Tuscan straws, of a buff colour, and sometimes the bonnets were made in alternate bands of straw plait, and gathered quillings of silk.

 Gathered silk bonnets, of plain or checked material, in various colours, came into fashion in the year 1848, and with them the whisker-like cap-borders, lying on each cheek, and unconnected one with the other by any upper border. Ribbons and flowers embellished these quillings, which could be seen in profile below the rim of the bonnet-front, which was a good deal cut away from the cheeks on either side. Broad strings were tied in a bow under the chin, but no trimming decorated the exterior. The brim was moderately deep, spreading at the sides, and depressed at the top.

In about the year 1850 the brims of our bonnets were very wide, round, and deep, and the deep cap-frill of the previous style was still retained. These bonnets were of straw, and had very broad strings, tied in a large bow under the chin.

I do not pretend to give an unbroken list of all the out-of-door head coverings worn in each successive year, from the beginning of this century up to the present time; but so far only as any great varieties of fashion cropped up, from time to time, during that period. Of course there can be but one opinion respecting the fact that no fashion of the 19th century has ever been so extravagantly bizarre as those of the head-dresses that immediately preceded the creation of the bonnet. For example, if the "fair Mary Anne Robinson' otherwise known as the "Bird of Paradise", (an engraving of which may be seen in Fairholt's "Costumes of England") and others quite as monstrous, that excited no surprise nor disapproval in the year 1728. Those were the trying days when our unfortunate grandmothers or great-grandmothers used to require the services of a hairdresser on every occasion that their hair had to be "taken down", turned up again, and stuck all over with ribbons, flowers, feathers, and lace. What with all the false hair, pomatum, powder, and pinnings on all of the decorations in their right position upon a cushion laid on the top of the head, no one could rear up such an amazing erection for herself; nor could any ordinary maid do it for her. To save expense, therefore, a hairdresser had to be engaged monthly, or by those who could not economise in such a matter, weekly; and the operation he then performed was called "opening a lady's head"; when, as they significantly expressed it, "it would keep o longer!" At night, a large "net fillet" was put over all this grandeur, combining indoor head-dress, and outdoor bonnet, and hat all in one; and this bag was tied closely with a drawing string  for the night. I suppose that at no period of the world's history did women suffer so acutely  for the satisfaction of looking each like her neighbour.

Weary of the round broad brims and heavy cap-borders of the year 1864, we seem to have returned to our craze for height. Straw was still in vogue, and cutting away the brim at the ears, we raised up the centre to such a degree that, at a little distance, and regarded "full-face" it looked like a sugar-loaf. The whole of the inside was a mass of flowers and ribbons, and a broad pair of strings were tied under the chin. These bonnets were called "spoons".

Look at the hideous hat of 1865.

After a reign of about two years the style of our bonnets again underwent a complete change, and the cone-shaped brim was seen no more, Then came in a very reasonable and pretty little cap-shaped head-dress, made of lace or tulle, upon a shape of buckram and wire. A small trimming of flowers decorated the exterior but the bonnet lying flat down on the top of the head, there was no room for embellishment inside the brim. A pair of tulle or lace-veil-like strings were connected together, at some distance below the chin, with a small bouquet or single flower.

In the year 1869 as you will observe from the illustration supplied, this pretty article of dress was deformed into a sort of patch, made of wire and buckram, covered with tulle and lace, worn like a saddle, and looking like a basket women's "pad" on the top of her head, to save it from injury in carrying her burden. A pair of silk lappet-strings, laced or fringed-out at each side, were brought together in the same style as those previously worn; the hair being elaborately dressed, and made the most of, to supply the deficiencies of this apology for a bonnet at the back.

Excepting the elderly ladies, hats appear to have aided considerably in filling-in the space of time between the introduction of the last style and the two nondescripts - half bonnet and half hat - that succeeded it in the years 1875-76. The first was of silk, and was perched on the back hair, showing a plait or coil of it in front. The brim was rather wide, and turned up all round. A large rose or bouquet was worn underneath it, over the left ear; and a large ostrich feather inserted in front, fell back over the crown. The hair was no longer brought down on either side of the forehead, but continued, as in the patch-bonnet, to be brushed back from the face; and the short-cut fringe of that over the forehead, so worn in 1866, remained in fashion til 1876.

The year last-named saw a change in our head coverings. Straw reigned once more, but there was a little of it in the saucer shapes that again served only to cover the back-hair, and to leave one plait of it visible in front. Feathers, silk bows, and bunches of fruit nearly hid their foundation from view; and a pair of broad tulle or net strings were brought round from the centre of the back, to be united on the chest of the wearer. These two last-named bonnets were in very bad taste, and had an indescribably vulgar effect, perhaps to be accounted for by its peculiar associations, i.e., the great tenacity with which the lower classes have retained these shapes, with their dirty, gaudy finery, and the bold look of suck a lack of covering, and shade to the face out of doors - placing them on the back hair as they still do, up to the present time.

It would be impossible to say what style of head-gear more than another distinguishes the taste of to-day; so many are the forms adopted to suit the faces or fancies of the wearers; nor would it always be possible to distinguish which was a bonnet and which was a hat.