Showing posts with label employment advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label employment advice. Show all posts

Saturday, 4 March 2017

2 July 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

C.J.S. – Avoid writing to other people's husbands, beyond a note on business, of course; and on all occasions let it be openly done, and to be read freely to the wife. Of course, the father of the bride should, in the case you name, take his aunt out of the church.

SHORT INTELLECT – Why should you "cultivate a bad memory"? Better to cultivate a good one. This may be done by daily learning by heart some pieces of poetry or prose.

MARGERITE – Thank you  for the exquisite flowers. It is very kind of you to send them after all our inattention to your enraged sister's letters. We are sorry to hear that, notwithstanding all we say in THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER, you find nothing to do that "nobody wants you," and that "everything is a dreary monotony." We cannot believe that you are anxious to be of service and to do your duty aright, for if you were you would soon find plenty of employment for your hands, head and heart.

IMPERIAL LILY – 1. At fifteen years of age you are far too young to become a hospital nurse. You should be learning your lessons in the schoolroom. Eighteen would be quite early enough for such a vocation. On the efficiency of a nurse the life of a patient mainly depends, under God's providence. 2. Do not send your dove on a long journey till mild weather has returned, and then cover the cage well. We should not imagine that the other would die from the loss of the other hen's companionship. If you have reason to think that their friendship was exceptionally romantic, get a mate for her without delay to fill the "aching void," before any sad catastrophe should occur.

AN ENGLISH GIRL – So you think that our correspondents are "imaginary people"? If so, you must be "an imaginary person" yourself, being one of them. Taking your view of the matter, it would be unnecessary to answer the query from a sham "English Girl"; but granting her "the benefit of a doubt" we answer this impatient little lady forthwith, to relieve her extreme anxiety on the question of "whether a leather belt may be worn over a jacket bodice"? Under a sense of deep responsibility we venture to say that it is a matter of no consequence whatever where little girls are concerned. Grown up persons do not wear them at present. Judging from her writing, "English Girl" must be about nine or ten years old, and she writes badly even for that.

DUMPS – We truly commiserate poor "Dumps." Your powers of attraction do not depend on mere personal beauty, but on a good and pleasing expression, gracious and gentle manners. Do not anticipate the possibility of a single life with dread. You need not suffer from loneliness on that account; but even that would be far preferable to married life under many circumstances that we might name. Ask God to provide for you as shall be for your best interests, in this life, and in that which is to come.

CURLEW – We are amused by our youthful reader's anxiety to know what chance there is of her being afflicted with lunacy, "on account of the high pressure of the age." This pressure, she says, "is without doubt felt by every single person in however remote a place he may be living." Our anxious little friend excludes from consideration (she adds) "those who become insane from over-taxing the mind." Be calm, dear reader, we do not live, even here, in such a terrible steam-engine for grinding out our brains as you imagine, working them as we do. As many become dull and even imbecile from extreme low "pressure" idleness, and lack of wholesome interest in the family and home business of their lives. Take note of that.

LITTLE RIGGLE – Thank you  for the pretty and nicely made pen wiper. Your writing is too stiff.

Thursday, 23 February 2017

25 June 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

Before WebMD there was the Answers to Correspondents in The Girl's Own Paper

MYRA S. – We decline to inform anybody "the size their waist ought to be." "A Ward in Chancery" is an infant under the protection of the Court of Chancery.

MAY. – Cover the canary's cage by all means at night if the room be cold or draughty. Dogs' biscuits are the best food.

SNOWSTORM. – Very finely powdered burnt alum to use, and alum-water as a gargle, are often useful in such enlargement. For your decanters try a little lemon juice and fine salt mixed, which may remove the mildew. A bottle rack is used for drying bottles.

SIGNORA MASANTE. – Your letter is one of those which gives us encouragement in our work. You would obtain a few lessons in hairdressing easily, but you would have to begin as young ladies' or second maid, as it is difficult to get a situation of the sort without previous experience. You will obtain it through an advertisement in a good paper. Your writing and composition do you credit, the only drawback to the former being the flourishes with which it is graced.

LORNA. – You send us five or six questions, which is more than your share. Do not plait your hair too tight, its sudden falling out was probably more due to your health than to your having plaited it. Put your dried ferns into a book, and fasten strips of paper across their stalks to keep them in their place.

M.V.V. – Avoid sugar and sweet things, and never take beer. Biscuits would also be better than bread. You might improve your writing by writing copies of running hand, so as to acquire more freedom with your pen.

A DROWSY SUBSCRIBER. – So many call themselves "subscribers" that we have to supply some distinguishing appellation. The extreme nervousness of which you complain, combined with an equally distressing degree of drowsiness, sleeping for three hours in the day, in addition to sleeping heavily through the night, shows you to need a personal interview with some good doctor. We could not venture to prescribe for you. You appear to be suffering from malaria.

A PECULIAR SCOTCH LASSIE. – We confess that we are unable to give a satisfactory solution of such a phenomenon as that described. The writer's case might have deserved record in the book of "wonderful people," for "her eyes make a noise when she blinks," and like some mechanical toy she produces a rattling all over! A peculiar "grating noise in her chest when coughing," and another "in her throat when swallowing." We sympathise with her, but can only recommend the visit of a doctor who can judge of these noises and their probable causes.


VIETCHEN. – Your case is a very extraordinary one. We cannot give a recommendation of any particular doctor, but may tell you the climate of the island of Sark (Channel Islands) is said to be most beneficial to sufferers from asthma Your handwriting is good. 

Friday, 3 February 2017

11 June 1881 - 'Literary Work for Girls' by An Editor's Wife

The question of remunerative employment for women is becoming every day a more absorbing one. The time has, we believe, almost – would that we could say quite! – gone by when work of any and every sort was considered a degradation to a woman gently born and reared. Poets in all ages have sung glibly enough of the dignity of labour, but it is hard for us to realise the dignity when we find ourselves tabooed and thrust down in the social scale by virtue of our work.

Happily, this nineteenth century, which has so many evil things to answer for, has at any rate done us good service in materially altering the aspect from which women's labour is regarded. There is nothing so ennobling and invigorating to the mind as good honest work, whether undertaken of necessity or simply as a right use of the time placed at our disposal.

There is no such powerful incentive to perseverance and thoroughness as keeping before our eyes some definite object to be attained by our labour, and there are no such impartial critics of our work as those who gauge it by its market value, entirely apart from all sentiment whatsoever.

This is in itself as strong an argument as needs be why girls should, if they be disposed, turn their attention to remunerative work, even supposing other considerations to be absent.

The scriptural view of the matter the "labourer is worthy of his hire," applies indiscriminately to all sorts and grades of labourers, whether they be men or women, labourers from necessity or from a sense of responsibility; and she who labours well and thoroughly, with due qualifications for her task, deserves and is pretty sure to gain the hire which Christ Himself has declared to be her due.

"Well and thoroughly." Here is the great secret of women's work, and in no case does it apply more forcibly than with regard to the branch of work we have chosen as the subject of this paper.

"Surely literary work is the most pleasant of all ways of earning money," I have heard many a girl say. "There is no going from home among strangers, or weary plodding to and fro in all weathers, and no wear and tear of refractory children, as in the case of a governess, no terror-inspiring examinations and outlay for being taught, as with telegraph clerks, no expensive course of lessons or stern apprenticeship, as with art needlework, designing, or even such work as millinery and dressmaking. If only a girl possesses a talent for writing she can sit quietly at home and make money with comparative ease, and if she is really clever she gets known, and then see how well she is paid. How fortunate to be able to gain a livelihood with such ease!"

And then if the girl is of an energetic turn of mind she will very likely sit down and dash off a few verses or a story, and feeling quit assured that she has read many in print that were no better, she dispatches it to the editor of any magazine she happens to take in, and impatiently, yet hopefully, awaits the result. This is tolerably sure to be a refusal. The literary aspirant is cast down and somewhat indignant. She is so sure that many compositions not in any degree better than hers have been printed somewhere. She sends her manuscript off again in another direction with the same result. Then she arrives at the conclusion that editors are the most blind, unfair set of beings in existence. They might at any rate have deigned to say why they refused her composition. She throws down her pen in supreme disgust, utterly disheartened, and very probably never taken it up for literary composition again.

Now, granting that her own estimate of her work was right, which, however, it is little likely to be, any more than the estimate of admiring friends, and that her verses or story were really equal in merit to others she has seen in print, is there any reason, apart from the blindness and exclusiveness of editors, why she should have failed? This is the question that we will endeavour fully to answer in this paper.

I will quite agree with my would-be literary girl that writing is a pleasant and profitable occupation, well adapted from many points of view for supplying a means of income without the attendant disagreeables attaching to many other employments. I will add, that never at any time was there such a field open to the literary worker as at this moment when magazines are multiplied and "of making books there is no end."

But I can go with her no farther. Literary work is not easy, at any rate to a vast number of those who live by it; it cannot be entered upon without training, and it requires much more than mere talent. The thorough practical training  for the work is even more advantageous than a decided talent devoid of cultivation, although I will not be rash enough to affirm that talent is unnecessary. But that it is useless without training I am firmly persuaded. On another point, too, I must differ from my disheartened girl friend. Editors are by no means the dragons that many people paint them. What they may have been in past days, I cannot say, but my own experience is that they are as a rule most kind and courteous, and only too ready to accept a manuscript that really meets the requirements of their magazine in all their particulars; for, incredible as it sounds, the number that comes under this category is surprisingly small.

My girl readers would not wonder that their MSS have received such summary treatment, if they could see the formidable pile of papers lying each morning on an editor's table. I should like the discontented literary aspirant to have practical experience of the work of examining, sorting, reading, and returning just for one day, and her only wonder will be the editor has not thrown her manuscript with a score or two of others at once into the waste paper basket, without even going through the brief form of rejection which has so roused her indignation. Fancy, if you can, the Editor of THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER writing some twenty or thirty such letters every day as the following, besides having to wade through the twenty or thirty accompanying MSSS, in every style of undecipherable handwriting, and probably varying in length from a page to a fair sized volume:-

"DEAR MADAM, - I am extremely sorry to be obliged to return your MS. In the first place, the story is three times as long as the greatest length we allow for short stories, and only about a third of the length required for a serial. Besides this, the interest is not sufficiently maintained, the characters are too unreal, and the whole tendency of the plot so extremely romantic that I am afraid it would give our girls very false notions of life. The writing, too, bears evidence of inexperience, the composition of many sentences being even grammatically incorrect. Under these circumstances I am compelled most reluctantly to reject your story. I would willingly accept it, so far as I am concerned, for I am sure you have taken great pains, and there are many very pretty ideas in it; but I am afraid the girls would not consider it sufficiently interesting, and that their parents would not approve the tone. Unfortunately, we are obliged to consider these points, as we would rather sell THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER than give it away. If you would quite alter the plot of your story, making it more practical, and in some way connecting the incidents; if you could make the conversation less frivolous and the characters a little more sensible, and if you would alter all the sentences that are not well expressed, I should be happy then to look at it again.

"With many apologies for wounding your feelings, I remain, dear madam,

"Your humble servant,

THE EDITOR."

There, girls! It looks rather weak in print, doesn’t it, but isn't that the sort of letter that you really wanted? And I can assure you that would be but a mild criticism of the inappropriateness of most amateur contributions sent to editors. Besides these, there is another class of contributions quite as useless, but far more distracting. Every editor knows them only too well. Shall I give you one brief example?

"DEAR SIR, - I send you herewith a MS., which I earnestly entreat you to accept. I am in the sorest need – an aged curate with a large family and small income. The long illness and recent death of my wife has reduced me to penury. My own health is failing, and, the new rector of this parish not requiring my services, I am thrown destitute upon the world. My only hope is that I may by happen be able to maintain my family until I obtain something else. Unless I have ten pounds by next Friday my belongings will have to be sold. Oh, sir, in the name of that religion which your paper so ably advocates, help me to avoid starvation, beggary, and disgrace. There is nothing before me but the workhouse, unless you can give me a start in your valued paper. I beseech you do not dash away my last hope…"

How do you think the editor feels over a letter like this? The article is perhaps some abstruse theological treatise, deeply learned, no doubt, but containing, maybe, extraordinary views which no one would look at, unless they emanated from some celebrated man. If the editor were to accept it no one would read his paper, and he knows very well if he gives this poor man the least encouragement he will probably be deluged with other similar compositions. He can, therefore, only return it, with the usual short form of rejection which seems so cruelly hopeless to the disappointed author. Yet if the editor were to make it his business to instruct would-be litterateurs in the art of writing, what would become of his magazine, or when, indeed, would the girls get their paper? And this is no overdrawn picture. Even more distressing circumstances than this are brought to an editor's notice, so that he is not unfrequently tempted to afford the help out of his own pocket which he dares not supply in his editorial capacity.

Therefore I say that if an editor even looks at all the MSS and letters he receives he is very good, but if he returns what is unsuitable he is a paragon of kindness. This is the honest opinion of one who has had some experience both of rejecting and being rejected. Then, what is wanted to enable a girl to use her pen profitably? First, ability; secondly, TRAINING; thirdly, powers of discrimination and observation.

I need not dwell much upon ability. Although it is the first thing, it is in some respects the least of the three essentials: that is to say, a comparatively small amount of ability combined with the other two qualifications will go further than a large amount of ability devoid of the. A vivid imagination is very necessary to the writer of fiction, but if unaccompanied by education and experience it will be of little use to her, whereas these two latter would very likely enable her to write plain, practical articles without the aid of the former, especially if she be possessed of sound common sense. Patience and perseverance, I need hardly say, are needed by authors of every class.

We see, then, that although exceptional talent is undoubtedly required to make an exceptional writer, the absence of any extraordinary intellectual ability need not be regarded as an entire disqualification.

Now, to come to the question of training; and this is indeed a wide and important side of my subject. It has indeed been the point where women's work has generally failed, though I am glad to see each day is carrying us on the right direction, and opening the eyes of women to its importance. We must always remember the fact that there are always more, far more, girls willing to work than there are openings for them. Thus the best qualified, as a matter of course, come best off. "As a rule those who can supply what is really required, meet with those who will purchase their merchandise. It is inferior workers whose labour brings no profit," says an experienced writer upon the question of women's work, and her remarks are as true of literary as of any other branch of work.

When boys set themselves to learn a business, the same writer remarks, they bend all their energies to the accomplishment of the end they have in view. All other matters are made subservient to it. But girls imagine they can take up an occupation without any sort of special training. Is it any wonder that women's work is regarded from quite a different standpoint, and depreciated often beyond its just value? Another lady of great experience says:- "Partial training has been the ruin of many attempts to gain new employment for women. It is often spoken of as desirable that they should do 'a little work,' but the 'little' which is meant to apply to the matter of quantity is transferred to that of quality, and this effectually bars the way to success.  It is very undesirable to see a lowered standard for women's work, and yet what reason is there to expect the attainment of a higher one in any way, but with the same amount of time and labour given by young men?" Another writer says:- "After an experience of life, neither very small nor very brief, I must candidly confess that my difficulty in trying to help my own sex has not been so much to find work as workers – women who can be relied upon – first to know how really to do what they profess, and next to have conscientiousness and persistency in doing it."

It is needless to multiply examples. All those who have deeply considered the subject have arrived at the same conclusion – that want of training is a principal cause of want of success to women-workers.

In the case of literary work, how is such training to be effected, supposing, for instance, the girl's education is considered finished before the idea of writing has occurred to her?

In the first place, if she is not already well qualified in that direction, she ought persistently to follow up the study of composition, which she can easily do with the aid of such books as are to be had, if she have ordinary intelligence. In the next place, she must read widely and observantly good literature in order that she may obtain command of language, that she may acquire the habit of looking at a subject from diverse points of view, and form an enlightened opinion upon men and things, for we are all of us, even the most original minds, greatly influenced and educated by the thoughts of the great men and women who have gone before us. An authoress of some reputation once said to me, "Nothing displays to you your own ignorance more vividly than writing. I was quite overwhelmed with my own ignorance when I began to write. I was continually finding myself landed, unconsciously, as it were, upon subjects of which I felt I was too ignorant to speak with authority, and in the midst of a paper upon some particular topic, I would find my thoughts had carried me along to side questions, necessary to be considered, but which I was obliged to stop and carefully study before I could write accurately."

Does not every girl reader perceive how this literary aspirant was giving herself the very training she required?

A very necessary point in magazine writing is to be able to say what you have to say in a given space. It is excellent practice to choose a subject, and allow yourself a certain number of sheets or lines in which to treat of it, rigidly adhering to the space assigned, while at the same time endeavouring to state the whole matter clearly, concisely, fully, and attractively. If the article fails in any one of these points, the author should regard it as she would an ill-worked problem in Euclid – only fit to be destroyed – and set herself to work out the problem over again. Does this seem very discouraging? Without such patient labour, no success can be hoped for.

And when our girl author has conquered the difficulties of composition, has acquired the art of expressing herself clearly and fluently, and has by a diligent course of reading acquainted herself with the views of distinguished thinkers upon all sorts of subjects, and learned moreover to think out a subject clearly and logically for herself, what more is required of her before she may attempt to send an article to an editor with a reasonable chance of success? Why, the practical application of the qualifications she already possesses to the subject she has in hand.

To explain more fully what I mean: it will be best to glance at the principal reasons why articles and stories intended for magazines meet with rejection, even when they are carefully and thoughtfully written. One great reason is inappropriateness of subject, or a treatment foreign to the expressed or understood policy and lines of the journal; and another, scarcely less important, is the matter of length, most amateur papers being written with an utter disregard to the nice balancing of articles and stories in a periodical journal which may be almost termed the alphabet of editorial work.

Here it is the powers of observation and discrimination must come in. The magazine writer must be able to observe what are the tendencies and scope of the journal she hopes to write for, and about what space is allotted to the kind of paper she proposes to write. She must then cast about for a subject, which, while being sufficiently original, will, she believes, be one likely to fall in with the editor's ideas of suitability; and everything depends upon her nice discrimination of this point. It is not so much what best pleases her as what is most likely to please that particular portion of the community for whose delectation the journal exists. This quick perception of the fitness of things is as invaluable as it is indispensible to a successful magazine writer.

So far I have confined myself to the consideration of magazine writing, because the field of literature is not only one of the widest and most diversified, but also because it yields the quickest return for a certain amount of labour. There are, I should say, few literary aspirants who would be so rash as to attempt the gigantic task of writing a book until they had gained some sort of footing by the publication of less ambitious efforts. The consideration of the best way to proceed with such an undertaken as a continued story or work of fiction is too wide to enter upon here, and must be reserved for a future article.

Monday, 23 January 2017

28 May 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

MAUD LEWIS wishes to know the names of "Female Hospitals' for Incurables. Without commenting this novel idea, we may suggest a few designed for incurables amongst others, perhaps, equally good, where women may be received when there are vacancies. The "Home for Confirmed Invalids," South House, Highbury Park South N.; weekly charge 10s; superintendent, Miss Warren. "Home for Incurable and Infirm Women" (over fifty years of age), 21 New Ormond-street, £25 per annum; Miss Twining. "St Elizabeth's Home for Incurables," 68 Mortimer –street; from £16 per annum and upwards.

LILY – Good riders ride safely and with greater convenience at the near side of their companion, but little girls, such as many of our correspondents, not trained as you appear to have been, can be the better taken care of if on the gentleman's off side, as his right hand is free for seizing her rein if necessary.

KANGAROO – To say "spoonful" is correct. You write very well.

AN ANXIOUS ONE – You ask a question often put and hard to answer. If not strong enough for service, there are few employments open for you. Being quick and accurate at accounts might be a recommendation. Look out for advertisements where bookkeepers in shops are wanted, or advertise for such a situation. Many girls are thus employed in bootmaker's, a butcher's, and other tradesmen's shops, besides libraries and fancy work stores.

HONEYSUCKLE – If she cannot get a change of scene, try to engage her in some active occupation. Has she no taste for needlework, if not for some out-of-door employment?

TOPSY – The face powder must have had white lead or other vile poison mixed with it. The powder used for babies is purest starch. Fuller's earth is also pure. But all powder interferes with the healthy action of the skin.

FACTORY GIRL – We are truly pleased to learn that our directions on many points have been found so useful to you and other factory girls in Scotland. The cookery hints, you remark, are more suited to England than to your country, where the diet of working people is plainer. There is the less need for lessons in cookery. Do not be offended when we advise you to spell more after the way in THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER.

BHAER – Exercise with dumb-bells or clubs may counteract the tendency to stooping, and plenty of exercise in the open air with cheerful companions will be useful for general improvement.

MAGGIE M – You had better consult a friend if you have no mother. The shoulder-blade can hardly be out-of-place without pain, but if the difference is so marked, something may be wrong.

Wednesday, 9 November 2016

2 April 1881 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

GERTRUDE TREVOR - We fear you would find some difficulty in getting the boy into an orphanage, as he is not really an orphan. As he has been at school  for the past four years, would it not be wiser to endeavour to place him with a stationer or bookseller, where he would obtain his board and clothing, and could continue to attend school at night. 

DUNELM - You do not tell us what your own feelings are, so our advice would be useless. But we should think that you had better speak to your father, if you wish to put an end to the acquaintance, and let him act for you. We regret that your writing should have been so much neglected. 

ALPINE SAPLING - The "Willow Pattern" illustrates an old traditional Chinese story of two young people who married clandestinely, were pursued by the bride's father to be beaten to death, but were changed into turtle doves, and so escaped. The three figures are represented on the bridge; that nearest the willow is the mandarin with the whip. On the right is his country seat; the small cottage is that of the gardener from whence he watched them. The island home in the distance is that of Chang, the young lover of Lichi, the mandarin's only daughter.

BEATRICE - Because you have been seven years in your situation you wish to change. You had better think twice and oftener about it. There are hundreds and thousands who would gladly take your place if you left it.

SP - Wait five years. What is done in haste will be repented at leisure.

PYGMEE - Several hundred letters of correspondence come every week. It is possible to give replies only to a selected number, which seem to have special interest. Many are about trifles, or ask questions which anyone at hand could answer if asked. Never be ashamed to confess ignorance by seeking information.





And finally, LOL: 

MABEL BOLTON, of Weymouth, writes to say, "I shall be obliged if you will intimate that the Mabel Bolton whom you advise not to waste her time and fancy on attempting to write verses is some other than myself. I ask this because your criticism and the somewhat uncommon designation of your correspondent have misled my friends and exposed me to some unpleasantness.

Thursday, 30 June 2016

11 September 1880 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

W.A.A. - You ask no question, or we should have had more than ordinary pleasure in answering one who sends such a charmingly-expressed and gracious a letter, solely to express her thanks to the editor and his staff of contributors. Any trouble we take is amply rewarded by the receipt of letters like yours.

GLADYS - 1. It is very ill-bred to reply, "It is granted" when a person begs pardon for some trifling accident or little breach of etiquette, because by so doing you imply that such pardon was required. On the contrary, you should repudiate the idea that you had received any injury or slight, ad so set your friend at ease. "Not at all," "Don't mention it," or some such words suitable to the occasion, would be in better taste. 2. Never omit to thank either man, woman, or child (whether gentle or simple) for any little service or attention. Say "Thank you," or, "I am obliged to you," if to a gentleman, and you wish to be formal; never say "thanks" -it is a vulgar abbreviation, and to an inferior would be much too familiar. From so constantly hearing the word, even well-bred people have fallen into the habit of using it. 3. Be careful not to make any one repeat what they have said. Rather guess what has been said, and let them correct your mistake. To say, "I beg your pardon" has become such a trick amongst young people that they make themselves quite a nuisance. Never pass any acquaintance as if unknown to you; but a slight smile and equally slight inclination of the head would be sufficient, should your eyes meet the second time of passing them. 4. You should not say, "You are welcome" when a tradesman thanks you for paying his bill. 5. The lady has the right of bowing first; circumstances must regulate the question of which speaks first after the recognition.

GREEN PEA PODS - 1. Yes. 2. Feed your toy terrier as often as you feed yourself. Share your meals with it, but give plenty of exercise, else it will get fat. 3. No, we certainly do not admire your handwriting.

MAROON - So long as you find that your gums are not irritated by cleaning your teeth with soot, and that it does not go between the gums and teeth, you may continue its use.

CORA - I fear that you would not be suitable for a companion, as you do not express yourself in good English, for you should be able to undertake the correspondence of your employer, if required. The qualifications of a companion are similar, in many respects, to those of a governess. She should play fairly well, and be able to accompany any one who sings; should be a good needlewoman; understand something of both nursing and housekeeping, should be an agreeable reader, understanding how to modulate her voice, and where to lay the emphasis of any sentence. She should be equally agreeable in conversation, pleasing in manner; knowing how to maintain a certain degree of reserve, and how to keep up her own dignity, and yet not to place herself on an equality with her employer, which requires a good deal of tact. You say that you "move in genteel society"; this is a vulgarism, and if you made use of such an expression to the lady about to engage you - if a well-bred person herself - she would judge you by it, and decline your services.

Sunday, 26 June 2016

4 September 1880 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

Don't butter your cat. Okay? Okay.

KATHLEEN BARTON wishes for "a good remedy for bad temper, for frightened people, and for making dogs thin." For the first we might re-introduce the old English "ducking stool" - a cure for "scolds."  For the next, we should first know how they become "frightened people."  For the third, reduce their allowance of food.

 DOLLY VARDEN NO.2 - 1. You are quite right to hesitate over accepting even a flower from gentlemen with whom you have to do in your business; considering how familiar they frequently are, we strongly advise you to decline very politely, with a slight bow, saying, "You must kindly excuse me but I do not accept flowers from gentlemen" Of course your conduct and manner must be all "of a piece," and you should avoid joking and laughing with them. 2. Perhaps you might obtain a situation as a book-keeper.

SUSANNAH H - We advise you to banish from your mind all thoughts of being what you always call a "goveness". Your spelling, writing, grammar, and common style of expressing yourself render a girl, already nearly fifteen, quite incompetent to prepare for such a situation. We never before heard of such a person as a "short-hand goveness." From your desire to educate yourself, and thereby earn your living, we daresay you are a nice little girl; but if you applied as much zeal to e a good needlewoman, to make dresses, and to dress hair, you are still young enough to fit yourself for a good situation as a lady's maid. Or else you might learn to be a cook, and you could attend classes.

PUSSY - 1. Perhaps if you cut off a little of your cat's hair, and buttered the shortened coat, you might induce her to keep herself clean. 2. The Freemasons claim King Solomon as a member of their society, we believe, but a recent authority says that English Freemasonry does not date back further than Queen Anne's time, and the building of the cathedral of Cologne is given as the date of that on the Continent.

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

17 July 1880 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

MARION - We thank you for your long kind letter so full of appreciation of our paper. We feel much sympathy with you in the very difficult position in which you are placed, and feel anxious in giving you advice, lest you should lose your situation from acting upon it. But we can only tell you what we should do under similar circumstances. A line must be drawn somewhere in your endurance of disrespect and the defiance of your rightful authority; or you cannot do your duty by your employers nor by your young charges. Rude words may be punished in many ways without your making a formal complaint to the parents; but to rude actions - such as striking, scratching, etc. - you would do wrong to submit. Take an opportunity when both father and mother are together, and in a quiet, yet firm, manner tell them you wish to lay certain matters before them, and to ask their advice and their assistance; that you are bound in honour to give notice, as a duty owed to them as well as to yourself, if unable to sustain your authority and to make yourself respected, for that you must train the children in morals, as well as merely teach them lessons. Say you cannot tolerate the children laying hands on you and that you must ask them to interfere on any such occasion. Perhaps you had better write a letter to this effect, stating all in as few words as possible, and very kindly and respectfully. Should you do so, let us hear the results.

HENRIETTE - 1. It is not at all necessary to introduce people who meet you to the friend walking with you. 2. The younger, or unmarried person, or inferior in rank or position, should be introduced to the older or more important person. 3. We cannot tell you what openings may exist at Dundee for employments of any kind.

ZETA - 1. The best remedy for low spirits is to attend to your digestion, and take care that the liver be not at fault; to be out a good deal, and to work in a garden, if you have a nice sunny one; to associate with cheerful companions of your own age; to occupy yourself continually in various useful ways, by which you can be of use to others, and endeavour to cheer them and help them, if old or out of health, over the monotony of enforced idleness. Try, in fact, to make it one of your objects in life to make someone else more happy. Never be idle for a moment, and take regular daily exercise without over fatigue. 2. The best modern history of England is Green's. 3. Painting, in all its branches, appears to be the art most in fashion at present. 4. A coil of plaits at the back of the head - now the style most in vogue - would be suitable for wear in riding, and out of the way of a hat.

IDA - You have fed the jackdaws quite properly. They will soon eat anything that you can, and many things that you can't. We think your writing is poor, and are glad you like THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER.

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

3 April 1880 - Answers to Correspondents - Miscellaneous

E.T.N.N.A - 1. We do not prescribe "charms" for the curing of any complaints. The usual method adopted for removing warts is to touch them with lunar caustic or aromatic vinegar daily. 2. Your writing needs correction. Take some pretty and legible model, and copy it carefully every day, so as to form your hand by degrees.

AN INQUIRER - We hardly know what the shade of John Bunyan would say if it could read your enquiry as t "whether the 'Pilgrim's Progress' were a novel" Procure it and judge for yourself; this you evidently have not yet done. But in case you have, I may tell you that it is an allegory or parabolic story, of which we have the first examples in the Holy Scriptures.

A.S.K. - Your handwriting is fairly good, but your spelling is bad. Law-copying (not "coping") may perhaps be obtained by personal enquiry in lawyers' offices in your own neighbourhood. But you will have to be taught, for one mistake will spoil a whole document.

FANNY - Your enquiry respecting the making of an electric telegraph machine, is so expressed as to be utterly unintelligible. We advise you to devote a little time to learning your English grammar. There is not a single instance of punctuation in your letter. IF you wish to manufacture such a machine you should take lessons of some mechanic.

AN ELDER SISTER - We do not consider that questions such as yours, respecting matrimony, come within the limits of our correspondence.

FLORENCE writers to say that "she would be glad to be informed how to earn her living; that she has read all that has been put in THE GIRL'S OWN PAPER, but it is not the kind of thing for her". As Florence gives us no information with respect to her acquirements, her natural gifts, nor her position in life, it is quite impossible for us to give her any further suggestions.

ICE - We are very sorry that we are unable to give you any satisfactory advice as to supplementing your present earnings. You would not be eligible for any work in "law copying" on account of your handwriting, which is very bad; and the composition of your letter is not even grammatical. Surely you could improve both. We do not write private letters.